01 I am~ 2018
학생이 쓴 원문
I have experienced many awards in local art contests through watercolor painting and oil paintings thanks to the active guidance of art teachers through middle schools and high schools in rural areas.I was impressed when I read Kandinsky's "Point, Line, and Face" books during high school arts and since then I have been interested in the world of non-conventional painting, I am going to make a goal to study the composition with the idea that I want to strengthen my design ability in my childhood greed. When I entered college, I finally went to the department of interior design, not visual design. I was left with pure art, and while I was in college after various college entrance and art classes, I could not adjust myself as an interior design student.One day, while I was working alone in the classroom at the school one day, my supervisor approached me who was alone and instructed me about explanation of drawing work and expression of space.
강사 첨삭
Hello sir [이름]! This is almost perfect. I know you have lots of ideas. You only problem is organizing these ideas into good sentenes. :) See you on Monday! Ciao!
~T. IRENE~
1. I have experienced many awards in local art contests through watercolor painting and oil paintings thanks to the active guidance of art teachers through middle schools and high schools in rural areas.
>> I have experienced receiving many awards in local art contests under watercolor and oil painting catergories. Thanks to the active guidance of art teachers from the middle and high schools in the rural areas.
2. I was impressed when I read Kandinsky\'s \"Point, Line, and Face\" books during high school arts and since then I have been interested in the world of non-conventional painting, I am going to make a goal to study the composition with the idea that I want to strengthen my design ability in my childhood greed.
>> I was impressed when I read Kandinsky\'s \"Point, Line, and Face\" book in my high school\'s art class. Since then I have been interested in the world of non-conventional painting. I am going to make it my goal to study the composition with the idea that I want to strengthen my designing ability which started in my childhood.
OR>> I was impressed when I read Kandinsky\'s \"Point, Line, and Face\" book in my high school\'s art class. Since then I have been interested in the world of non-conventional painting. I made it my goal to study the composition with the idea that I wanted to strengthen my designing ability which started in my childhood.
3. When I entered college, I finally went to the department of interior design, not visual design.
>> When I entered college, I decidedly enrolled in the department of interior design, not visual design.
4. I was left with pure art, and while I was in college after various college entrance and art classes, I could not adjust myself as an interior design student.
>> I was interested in pure art. While I was in college, after various entrance exams and art classes, I still could not adjust myself as an interior design student.
5. One day, while I was working alone in the classroom at the school one day, my supervisor approached me who was alone and instructed me about explanation of drawing work and expression of space.
>> One day, while I was working alone in the classroom at the school, my supervisor approached me. He was alone. He then explained to me about drawing work and expression of space.
~T. IRENE~
1. I have experienced many awards in local art contests through watercolor painting and oil paintings thanks to the active guidance of art teachers through middle schools and high schools in rural areas.
>> I have experienced receiving many awards in local art contests under watercolor and oil painting catergories. Thanks to the active guidance of art teachers from the middle and high schools in the rural areas.
2. I was impressed when I read Kandinsky\'s \"Point, Line, and Face\" books during high school arts and since then I have been interested in the world of non-conventional painting, I am going to make a goal to study the composition with the idea that I want to strengthen my design ability in my childhood greed.
>> I was impressed when I read Kandinsky\'s \"Point, Line, and Face\" book in my high school\'s art class. Since then I have been interested in the world of non-conventional painting. I am going to make it my goal to study the composition with the idea that I want to strengthen my designing ability which started in my childhood.
OR>> I was impressed when I read Kandinsky\'s \"Point, Line, and Face\" book in my high school\'s art class. Since then I have been interested in the world of non-conventional painting. I made it my goal to study the composition with the idea that I wanted to strengthen my designing ability which started in my childhood.
3. When I entered college, I finally went to the department of interior design, not visual design.
>> When I entered college, I decidedly enrolled in the department of interior design, not visual design.
4. I was left with pure art, and while I was in college after various college entrance and art classes, I could not adjust myself as an interior design student.
>> I was interested in pure art. While I was in college, after various entrance exams and art classes, I still could not adjust myself as an interior design student.
5. One day, while I was working alone in the classroom at the school one day, my supervisor approached me who was alone and instructed me about explanation of drawing work and expression of space.
>> One day, while I was working alone in the classroom at the school, my supervisor approached me. He was alone. He then explained to me about drawing work and expression of space.
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