02-14
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello!^^
Thank you for sending your homework.
Cheers!
Jean
Do you think Valentine\'s Day is too commercial or consumerist?
Considering the original meaning of Valentine\'s Day, it is hard to say that the way of nowaday is so wrong.
>> Considering the original meaning of Valentine\'s Day, it is hard to say that the way people of modern times celebrate such day is so wrong.
Of course the claim that it has become commercially seems also valid as well however, it is inevitable in capitalist society.
>> Of course the claim that it has become commercialized seems valid as well however, it is inevitable in a capitalist society.
When demand surges, supply move accordingly, and it is naturally lead the situations that suppliers drive demand.
>> When demand surges, supply moves accordingly, and it naturally leads to situations where suppliers induce demand.
So I think that Valentine\'s Day has been restructured for the times rather than Valentine\'s Day has been commercialized.
>> Hence to my way of thinking, Valentines\' Day has been restructured for the times rather than it has been commercialized.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.