0309
학생이 쓴 원문
Today, I will write about my town YeonHeedong. I moved in this town last month. Although I live this town for the first time, I feel familiar because I used to live near here. I had lived in Bundang before I moved in YeonHeedong for e an year. Bundang was a nice and big town having lots of amenities but I felt unfamiliar since I had never lived out of Seoul. YeonHeedong is small and calm. There is a lot of cute coffee shops and fine restaurants. The best part of this town is there are many shops where dogs are permitted. My parents house is near here so I can easily meet them. Also most of my friends are living this town and that is why they often came over my house after I moved in. A demerits of this town is traffic. There is no subway where I can go by walk. When I need to take subway, I have to take a bus for about 10 minutes and transfer to Line. 2 in Sinchon station. But it is not a matter to me since I usually drive to go somewhere and I can go to my school by bus.
강사 첨삭
Good afternoon, May!
I had to search for Yeonhui-dong on the internet because it\'s my first time to encounter it. Thus, I learned that is a neighborhood in Seoul. I also saw photos/images of it online and I can say that it\'s indeed a good place.
Thank you so much for this composition.
I have made some revisions for you to review later on. See you on Wednesday!^^
__Teacher Mayleen :)
Today, I will write about my town YeonHeedong.
>>> I will write about my neighborhood, Yeonhui-dong, today.
I moved in this town last month.
>>> I moved to this neighborhood last month.
Although I live this town for the first time, I feel familiar because I used to live near here.
>>> Although it\'s my first time in this neighborhood, it feels familiar because I used to live near here.
I had lived in Bundang before I moved in YeonHeedong for e an year.
>>> I had lived in Bundang for a year before I moved to Yeonhui-dong.
Bundang was a nice and big town having lots of amenities but I felt unfamiliar since I had never lived out of Seoul.
>>> Bundang was a big and nice town having lots of amenities, but I felt unfamiliar since I had never lived outside of Seoul.
YeonHeedong is small and calm.
>>> Yeonhui-dong is small and peaceful.
There is a lot of cute coffee shops and fine restaurants.
>>> There are a lot of cute coffee shops and fine restaurants.
The best part of this town is there are many shops where dogs are permitted.
>>> The thing I like the best in this neighborhood is that there are many shops where dogs are permitted.
My parents house is near here so I can easily meet them.
>>> My parents\' house is near here so I can easily meet them.
Also most of my friends are living this town and that is why they often came over my house after I moved in.
>>> Also, most of my friends are living in this neighborhood and that is why they often come over to my house after I moved in.
A demerits of this town is traffic.
>>> One demerit of this neighborhood is heavy traffic jam.
There is no subway where I can go by walk.
>>> There is no subway station where I can reach by just walking.
When I need to take subway, I have to take a bus for about 10 minutes and transfer to Line. 2 in Sinchon station.
>>> When I need to take the subway, I have to ride a bus for about 10 minutes and transfer to Line 2 in Sinchon station.
But it is not a matter to me since I usually drive to go somewhere and I can go to my school by bus.
>>> However, it doesn\'t really matter to me since I usually drive to go to places that I like and I can go to my school by bus.
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