1/10 homework

2020-01-13 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

Although there are a lot of societal problems, I think that the most serious problem is becoming an aging society. Now, the amount of pension is increasing more, it comes from our tax and national insurance. The tax continuously increases every year. The young population is decreasing and the old population is rapidly increasing. Now, 60\'s people are not old men any more. But, the retirement age is 65 years old for officials and that of the major companies is 62. It means that many small companies offer the working period before 60. I don\'t know that when I become an elder, I can get enough pension or not. In my parents\' period, they should care for their children and parents too. So, they couldn\'t keep the money for their old age. It means I should care, my mom and dad, surely mom and dad in law also. Sometimes, when I meet the elders gathering abandoned boxes or bottles to resell and get the small money, I think it can be my future.The social system for elders should be strengthened.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one. I really apprentice it! ^ ^
It\'s funny because I have the same feeling as yours. Either I grow old poor and neglected or happy and satisfied. I hope it would be the later. But, I always reassure myself that a good future is in store for me. What we can do now is just to work harder and save more! ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah

Although there are a lot of societal problems, I think that the most serious problem is becoming an aging society.
>>Although there are a lot of societal problems, I think that the most serious problem is an aging society.
Now, the amount of pension is increasing more, it comes from our tax and national insurance.
>>CORRECT
The tax continuously increases every year.
>>CORRECT
The young population is decreasing and the old population is rapidly increasing.
>>The birth rate is decreasing whereas the aging population is rapidly increasing.
Now, 60\'s people are not old men any more.
>>Now, people in their 60\'s are no longer considered old.
But, the retirement age is 65 years old for officials and that of the major companies is 62.
>>CORRECT
It means that many small companies offer the working period before 60.
>>CORRECT
I don\'t know that when I become an elder, I can get enough pension or not.
>>I don\'t know whether I can get enough pension or not when I\'m old.
In my parents\' period, they should care for their children and parents too.
>>During my parent\'s time, they should care for their children and parents too.
So, they couldn\'t keep the money for their old age.
>>So, they couldn\'t save enough money for their retirement.
It means I should care, my mom and dad, surely mom and dad in law also.
>>It means that I should also take care of my parents and my parents in law as well.
Sometimes, when I meet the elders gathering abandoned boxes or bottles to resell and get the small money, I think it can be my future.
>>Sometimes when I see old people gathering empty boxes and bottles to sell for a small amount of money, I sometimes feel that it could be my future too.
The social system for elders should be strengthened.
>>CORRECT

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