1/16 homework
학생이 쓴 원문
Spending time in nature has a positive effect on our mental health.
But, I think the most important thing is we shouldn\'t use a smartphone in there.
The smartphone is always with us and it like part of the body in this era.
Even when we climbing a mountain or go camping, many people take a picture with a smartphone and upload it in SNS.
One year ago, my smartphone was broken and I couldn\'t use my smartphone for a week.
At that time, I realized that I was addicted very strongly by smartphone or digital tools.
I was crazy on the first day, I was very unstable because I concerned someone sends a very important message.
However, on the final day, I felt comfortable and thought no one is interrupting me.
When we go abroad and we can not use a smartphone due to an unstable internet, we can concentrate on travel and me into nature.
It is funny but it\'s true.
Many people live in an urban city and they say that they want to enjoy nature.
But, maybe the problem is inside of us.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]! Thank you for spending time with your homework. I really appreciate the effort! ^ ^
Spending time with nature is indeed beneficial. BEING OUTDOORS BOOSTS YOUR ENERGY. IT FEELS EASIER TO EXERCISE OUTDOORS. THE OUTDOORS IS GOOD FOR YOUR VISION, I could go on and on, because truly, the benefits are a lot. So; let\'s put down our phones and appreciate nature! ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah
>>Spending time with nature has some positive effects on our mental health and well being.
But, I think the most important thing is we shouldn\'t use a smartphone in there.
But, I think the most important thing is we shouldn\'t use a smartphone in there.
>>CORRECT
The smartphone is always with us and it like part of the body in this era.
The smartphone is always with us and it like part of the body in this era.
>>Smartphones have literally become a part of our lives in this time.
Even when we climbing a mountain or go camping, many people take a picture with a smartphone and upload it in SNS.
Even when we climbing a mountain or go camping, many people take a picture with a smartphone and upload it in SNS.
>>Even when we go climbing or camping, many people take pictures with their smartphones and upload them to SNS.
One year ago, my smartphone was broken and I couldn\'t use my smartphone for a week.
One year ago, my smartphone was broken and I couldn\'t use my smartphone for a week.
>>CORRECT
At that time, I realized that I was addicted very strongly by smartphone or digital tools.
At that time, I realized that I was addicted very strongly by smartphone or digital tools.
>>At that time, I realized that I was strongly addicted with smartphones or with digital tools.
I was crazy on the first day, I was very unstable because I concerned someone sends a very important message.
I was crazy on the first day, I was very unstable because I concerned someone sends a very important message.
>>I went crazy on the first day, I was very unstable because I was concerned whether someone has sent me a very important message.
However, on the final day, I felt comfortable and thought no one is interrupting me.
However, on the final day, I felt comfortable and thought no one is interrupting me.
>>CORRECT
When we go abroad and we can not use a smartphone due to an unstable internet, we can concentrate on travel and me into nature.
When we go abroad and we can not use a smartphone due to an unstable internet, we can concentrate on travel and me into nature.
>>When we go abroad and we can not use a smartphone due to an unstable internet, we can concentrate on the trip and we get the chance to look at nature.
It is funny but it\'s true.
It is funny but it\'s true.
>>CORRECT
Many people live in an urban city and they say that they want to enjoy nature.
Many people live in an urban city and they say that they want to enjoy nature.
>>CORRECT
But, maybe the problem is inside of us.
But, maybe the problem is inside of us.
>>CORRECT
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