[1/20]Homework

2021-01-22 · 첨삭 강사 Christina

학생이 쓴 원문

Well, in my case, I did working part time when I was in high school student. It means that we couldn’t work at somewhere for full time when we were youth. That’s reasons why I did working at some stores for part time before adult became. I remember going to work for full time after finished military duty. After that, I could work from in the morning to late at night. So that, I got earn much money in my life firstly. I really happy to got salary at first time. In our country, people could enter to company at first time after graduated at college in general. Unfortunately, the men have to go military service by duty for around 2 years. Finally, the men start to work 2 years later compared to women. I also had to military duty for 26 months in the past. After that, I had become entered to company before graduated at college. Overall, I think our country people are in same situation like me. Unfortunately, there are not enough job market in our county. That’s it. Thanks a lot.

강사 첨삭

Hello Tiger!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great… ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Well, in my case, I did working part time when I was in high school student. 

>> Well in my case, I did work part time when I was a high school student. 

It means that we couldn’t work at somewhere for full time when we were youth. 

>> It means that we couldn’t work anywhere for full time because we were still young. 

That’s reasons why I did working at some stores for part time before adult became. 

>> That’s the reason why I worked part time at some stores before I became an adult. 

I remember going to work for full time after finished military duty. 

>> I remember going to work for full time after I finished my military duty. 

After that, I could work from in the morning to late at night. So that, I got earn much money in my life firstly. 

>> After that, I could work from morning to late at night so I got to earn much money for the first time in my life. 

I really happy to got salary at first time. 

>> I was really happy to get my salary for the first time. 

In our country, people could enter to company at first time after graduated at college in general. 

>> In our country, people could enter a company for the first time after graduating from from college. 

Unfortunately, the men have to go military service by duty for around 2 years. 

>> Unfortunately, the men have to go to military service for around 2 years. 

Finally, the men start to work 2 years later compared to women. 

>> The men start working 2 years later compared to women. 

I also had to military duty for 26 months in the past. 

>> I also had to do my military duty for 26 months in the past. 

After that, I had become entered to company before graduated at college. 

>> After that, I entered a company after graduating college. 

Overall, I think our country people are in same situation like me. 

>> Overall, I think the people in our country are in same situation as me. 

Unfortunately, there are not enough job market in our county. 

>> Unfortunately, there are not enough jobs in the market in our county. 

That’s it. Thanks a lot.

>> That’s it, thanks a lot.

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