1/28 homework

2020-01-28 · 첨삭 강사 Dee

학생이 쓴 원문

I like one woman weight lifter, Miran Jang, who was born and is living in my hometown. She was a member of the national athlete and won a gold prize in many world championship tournaments. She set the world record in Beijing Olympic, 2008. She retired as athletes now and she is working to improve Korea sports and support the young athletes. When I was a girl, I never thought I would be a weight lifter because they are not pretty and fat and exercise all day. It was a stupid thought, but I did it indeed. I know how difficult to be a gold medalist in any field. We remember and envy the person who wins first place in the field. It may be someone you want to be like, or it may be a competitor. Anyway, I think it does not bed to envy that kind of person, but the important thing is learning their effort and the specific way to get a goal. I want to resemble her strong concentration and will without being conscious of others. So, I want to be a powerful person in my research field.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]! I am amazed by this woman you admire. I think that she is worthy of praise. You must be very proud of her. She is truly inspiring. Thank you for completing your homework today. Have a productive day!~~T.Dee

I like one woman weight lifter, Miran Jang, who was born and is living in my hometown.
>>CORRECT!
She was a member of the national athlete and won a gold prize in many world championship tournaments.
>>She was a member of the national team and won a gold prize in many world championship tournaments.
She set the world record in Beijing Olympic, 2008.
>>CORRECT!
She retired as athletes now and she is working to improve Korea sports and support the young athletes.
>>She retired as an athlete now and she is working to improve Korea\'s sports scene and she also support the young athletes.
When I was a girl, I never thought I would be a weight lifter because they are not pretty and fat and exercise all day.
>>CORRECT!.
It was a stupid thought, but I did it indeed.
>>CORRECT!
I know how difficult to be a gold medalist in any field.
>>CORRECT!
We remember and envy the person who wins first place in the field.
>>CORRECT!
It may be someone you want to be like, or it may be a competitor.
>>CORRECT!
Anyway, I think it does not bed to envy that kind of person, but the important thing is learning their effort and the specific way to get a goal.
>> Anyway, I think it is not bad to envy that kind of person, but the important thing is to appreciate their effort and to learn their strategies to achieve their goal.
I want to resemble her strong concentration and will without being conscious of others.
>>CORRECT!
So, I want to be a powerful person in my research field.
>>CORRECT!

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