1/7 homework

2020-01-07 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

I think that my most big worries are health, money, and job. As I am growing, I am feeling how much important to live healthily. Mental health, as well as physical health, is very important. The unhealthy mind makes me weaken and forget my goal. I don\'t want to be a person who follows the money. Nevertheless, money is quite important to live a happy and peaceful life. If I want to have food, enjoy life and care for my family, sufficient money is necessary. My husband and me are working. But, sometimes I worry about our old age after retirement. Finally, the most serious worry nowadays is getting a job for me. I want to work forever, and I want to find achievement from my job. It is one of my reason for living life. But, I am really worried about my unstable job state and sometimes it makes me blame myself. Nonetheless, I heard that humans worry about things that will not happen. So, although I have many worries, I want to live with the hope that everything will be okay.

강사 첨삭

Nice thoughts you have here [이름]! Well done! Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it a lot! ^ ^
Indeed, we all have worries and sometimes we often worry more that we should. But, I think we should just learn to relax and live at the moment. That way, it makes us worry less! ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah

I think that my most big worries are health, money, and job.
>>CORRECT
As I am growing, I am feeling how much important to live healthily.
>>CORRECT
Mental health, as well as physical health, is very important.
>>CORRECT
The unhealthy mind makes me weaken and forget my goal.
>>An unhealthy mind weakens me and I tend to forget my goals.
I don\'t want to be a person who follows the money.
>>I don\'t want to be that kind of person who\'s just after the money.
Nevertheless, money is quite important to live a happy and peaceful life.
>>CORRECT
If I want to have food, enjoy life and care for my family, sufficient money is necessary.
>>CORRECT
My husband and me are working.
>>CORRECT
But, sometimes I worry about our old age after retirement.
>>CORRECT
Finally, the most serious worry nowadays is getting a job for me.
>>CORRECT
I want to work forever, and I want to find achievement from my job.
>>CORRECT
It is one of my reason for living life.
>>It is one of my reasons for living life.
But, I am really worried about my unstable job state and sometimes it makes me blame myself.
>>CORRECT
Nonetheless, I heard that humans worry about things that will not happen.
>>CORRECT
So, although I have many worries, I want to live with the hope that everything will be okay.
>>CORRECT

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