(1)task:Large international companies are becoming more powerful Do you think this is positive or ne
학생이 쓴 원문
Nowadays,there are many huge abroad companies which getting bigger and more powerful.From my point of view, this development give us many benefits for our lives.Some local companies, however, are threatened by the large companies. Because the local sites do not have enough human and financial resources as much as big sites. Thus, it is impossible to compete with the big firms. In turn, some national business would go bankrupt if the growth of international business does not stop. In additional, this situation cause to reduce characters and strengths of the nation.The other hands, these big firms contribute to make the one world. Also, it is capable to get some services and opportunities in developing countries like developed countries. For instance, we can use a video chat or voice talk service although there is no companies to provide that in our country. Furthermore, we are able to communicate with foreigners and get a lot nformation from them. We also feel like that we are the one
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
Thank you for trying your best constructing complex sentences to express your thoughts. Good job!
Here are my corrections.
Nowadays,there are many huge abroad companies which getting bigger and more powerful.From my point of view, this development give us many benefits for our lives.
>>Nowadays,there are many huge foreign companies which getting bigger and more powerful. From my point of view, this development gives us many benefits for our lives.
Some local companies, however, are threatened by the large companies. Because the local sites do not have enough human and financial resources as much as big sites.
>>Some local companies, however, are threatened by the large companies. Because local sites do not have enough employees and financial resources as much as big sites.
Thus, it is impossible to compete with the big firms. In turn, some national business would go bankrupt if the growth of international business does not stop.
>>Thus, it is impossible to compete with the big firms. On the other hand, some national businesses would go bankrupt if the growth of international businesses do not stop.
In additional, this situation cause to reduce characters and strengths of the nation.The other hands, these big firms contribute to make the one world.
>>In additional, this situation may weakens the power of the nation. However, these big firms contribute to the world.
Also, it is capable to get some services and opportunities in developing countries like developed countries. For instance, we can use a video chat or voice talk service although there is no companies to provide that in our country.
>>Also, developing countries are capable to get some services and opportunities to the developed countries. For instance, we can use video chat or voice talk services although there are no companies to provide that in our country.
Furthermore, we are able to communicate with foreigners and get a lot nformation from them. We also feel like that we are the one
>>Furthermore, we are able to communicate with foreigners and get much information from them.
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