10/21
학생이 쓴 원문
Good morning?
It is my essay in a long time. ^^
My favorite quality is the endurance at any time because we face situations many times when we endure that situations even if we can't do that.
As you know, I work for my company and get my salary from it so I can't request for my needs and my opinions.
And next quality is a strong will.
Once we make a goal, we have this quality to accomplish it.
Otherwise, we will give up before making our result that we want.
The final quality is a self-sufficiency.
Human's desire has not the limitation.
Therefore, though people have many things, they want to possess more.
We hear the new sometimes as bothers, who have much money, fight each other to get more money.
These qualities are only my opinion which are thoght for my essay before my duty in my office so I ask you to give me advises if possible.
See you in our class.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!^^
Thank you for sharing and answering our homework.
I like the fact that you are always this person who is very opinionated and likes making long sentences. Good job!^^
Just be more careful not to be redundant in using words. You can make use of \"it\" if you have the same word that you have to use in one sentence.
I agree when you said that human desires are limitless.^^
Living in this materialistic world, people tend to be obsessed with money and a lot of things.
So I guess it\'s all up to us to discipline ourselves to be satisfied with what we have and what we can afford.
We\'ll be talking more about this in our class.
In the mean time, Take care of yourself and enjoy your day!
I\'ll talk to you later!^^
Teacher Reina *.*
Good morning?
>>> Good morning!^^
It is my essay in a long time. ^^
>>> This is my essay after a long time!^^
My favorite quality is the endurance at any time because we face situations many times when we endure that situations even if we can\'t do that.
>>> My favorite quality is having endurance at all times because we face a lot of situations that we need to endure even if we can\'t do it.
As you know, I work for my company and get my salary from it so I can\'t request for my needs and my opinions.
>>> correct!^^
And next quality is a strong will.
>>> correct!^^
Once we make a goal, we have this quality to accomplish it.
>>> correct!^^
Otherwise, we will give up before making our result that we want.
>>> Otherwise we will give up before having the result that we want.
The final quality is a self-sufficiency.
>>> The last last quality is self-sufficiency.
Human\'s desire has not the limitation.
>>> Human desires has no limitations.
Therefore, though people have many things, they want to possess more.
>>> Therefore even if people have a lot of things, they want to posses more/ they want to have more.
We hear the new sometimes as bothers, who have much money, fight each other to get more money.
>>> We hear new stories about brothers who are already rich but still fight with each other to get more money.
These qualities are only my opinion which are thoght for my essay before my duty in my office so I ask you to give me advises if possible.
>>> These qualities are only my opinion which are my answers to our essay before I proceed with my work in the office. I am asking you to give me an advise if possible.
See you in our class.
>>> correct!^^
Thank you for sharing and answering our homework.
I like the fact that you are always this person who is very opinionated and likes making long sentences. Good job!^^
Just be more careful not to be redundant in using words. You can make use of \"it\" if you have the same word that you have to use in one sentence.
I agree when you said that human desires are limitless.^^
Living in this materialistic world, people tend to be obsessed with money and a lot of things.
So I guess it\'s all up to us to discipline ourselves to be satisfied with what we have and what we can afford.
We\'ll be talking more about this in our class.
In the mean time, Take care of yourself and enjoy your day!
I\'ll talk to you later!^^
Teacher Reina *.*
Good morning?
>>> Good morning!^^
It is my essay in a long time. ^^
>>> This is my essay after a long time!^^
My favorite quality is the endurance at any time because we face situations many times when we endure that situations even if we can\'t do that.
>>> My favorite quality is having endurance at all times because we face a lot of situations that we need to endure even if we can\'t do it.
As you know, I work for my company and get my salary from it so I can\'t request for my needs and my opinions.
>>> correct!^^
And next quality is a strong will.
>>> correct!^^
Once we make a goal, we have this quality to accomplish it.
>>> correct!^^
Otherwise, we will give up before making our result that we want.
>>> Otherwise we will give up before having the result that we want.
The final quality is a self-sufficiency.
>>> The last last quality is self-sufficiency.
Human\'s desire has not the limitation.
>>> Human desires has no limitations.
Therefore, though people have many things, they want to possess more.
>>> Therefore even if people have a lot of things, they want to posses more/ they want to have more.
We hear the new sometimes as bothers, who have much money, fight each other to get more money.
>>> We hear new stories about brothers who are already rich but still fight with each other to get more money.
These qualities are only my opinion which are thoght for my essay before my duty in my office so I ask you to give me advises if possible.
>>> These qualities are only my opinion which are my answers to our essay before I proceed with my work in the office. I am asking you to give me an advise if possible.
See you in our class.
>>> correct!^^
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