10/8 homework

2019-10-11 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

If I can choose my lifetime, I want to live until 2101. I was born in 1987. So, I watched the passage of a century on TV between 2000 to 2001. At that time, it was like a global party. Many technology and lifestyle were changed a lot since the 21st century. So, I want to experience the atmosphere again. If so, I should live until 114 years old. But, I don\'t want to live in the hospital until then. How you live is more important than how long you live. I think time does not make us an adult. Often it makes me sad that people I love go to heaven. Maybe I have to hight loneliness for quite a long time. So, I want to live until 2101 with my lover. A few years ago, we expect that the lifetime of humans is increasing more and more. But, nowadays, we expect again that the lifetime of humans will decrease due to environmental pollution. So, I conclude that the most important thing is to live today without regret.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it a lot!  ^ ^
If life would be very wonderful and easy, I would definitely like to witness more of the future!  ^^ And I guess you are right too! We should enjoy every moment of our lives and be grateful everyday!  ^ ^ 
-Teacher Jedah 

If I can choose my lifetime, I want to live until 2101.
>>CORRECT
I was born in 1987.
>>CORRECT
So, I watched the passage of a century on TV between 2000 to 2001.
>>CORRECT
At that time, it was like a global party.
>>CORRECT
Many technology and lifestyle were changed a lot since the 21st century.
>>A lot of technology and lifestyles have changed a lot since the 21st century.
So, I want to experience the atmosphere again.
>>>CORRECT
If so, I should live until 114 years old.
>>CORRECT
But, I don\'t want to live in the hospital until then.
>>CORRECT
How you live is more important than how long you live.
>>CORRECT
I think time does not make us an adult.
>>CORRECT
Often it makes me sad that people I love go to heaven.
>>CORRECT
Maybe I have to hight loneliness for quite a long time.
>>Maybe I have to endure loneliness for quite a long time.
So, I want to live until 2101 with my lover.
>>CORRECT or
>>So, I want to live until 2101 with my husband/the love of my life.
A few years ago, we expect that the lifetime of humans is increasing more and more.
>>A few years ago, we expected that the lifetime of humans will increase more and more.
But, nowadays, we expect again that the lifetime of humans will decrease due to environmental pollution.
>>CORRECT
So, I conclude that the most important thing is to live today without regret.
>>CORRECT

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