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2018-10-19 · 첨삭 강사 Glenda

학생이 쓴 원문

I live in a neighborhood with many friendly people. I don't have many close neighbors. I don't have enough time to meet my kind neighbors because of my job. My neighbors helped me with my children. When my children were sick, they took care of them while I worked in my office. I can't forget it. My husband and I invited them to join us for dinner. Nowadays we only meet once in a blue moon because we are very busy. Let me tell you about my mobile phone. It has a lot of functions. For example it can be used as a camera phone, an mp3, a TV phone, a call phone, a GPS and an internet phone. It is small so it can be always with me. When I lost it, I couldn't do all my work. Because it is very expensive so I can't buy it again for a long time. I like listening to music and watching movies on my mobile phone. I think it is the most useful thing in the world. If I don't have a mobile phone, my life would probably be different and difficult.

강사 첨삭

I live in a neighborhood with many friendly people.

>> Correct
 I don\'t have many close neighbors.

>>Correct
 I don\'t have enough time to meet my kind neighbors because of my job.

>> Correct
 My neighbors helped me with my children.

>> Correct
 When my children were sick, they took care of them while I worked in my office.

>> Correct

or

>> When my children were sick, they took care of them while I was at work.
 I can\'t forget it.

>> I can\'t forget it.
 My husband and I invited them to join us for dinner.

>> 

or

>>  My husband and I once invited them to us for dinner.
 Nowadays we only meet once in a blue moon because we are very busy.

>> Correct

or

>> Nowadays, we only meet once in a blue moon because we are very busy,

 Let me tell you about my mobile phone.

>> Correct
 It has a lot of functions.

>> Correct

For example it can be used as a camera phone, an mp3, a TV phone, a call phone, a GPS and an internet phone.

>> Correct

or

>> It can be used as a camera, MP3, TV, for phone calls, GPS, and as an internet phone.
 It is small so it can be always with me.

>> It is small, so I can always take it with me.
 When I lost it, I couldn\'t do all my work.

>> When I lose it, I wouldn\'t be able to do my work.
 Because it is very expensive so I can\'t buy it again for a long time.

>> Because it is expensive, I wouldn\'t be able to buy one again for a long time.
 I like listening to music and watching movies on my mobile phone.

>> Correct
 I think it is the most useful thing in the world.

>> Correct
 If I don\'t have a mobile phone, my life would probably be different and difficult.

>> Correct

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