1025 homework

2018-10-26 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

Choose a form of transportation (such as cars, trains, boats, planes, or subways) and explain how it has changed people’s lives.- (^-^) I'd like to talk about planes. Thanks to planes, people can go abroad and transport stuffs. In the past, no one could imagine going abroad through the sky. If they wanted to go to other countries, they should take buses, trains, or boats. Surely, they were slower trasportations. So planes made it easy for people to move and took smaller time than the others. It tooks about 5 hours from Seoul to Busan if I ride a bus, but planes took only 1 hour! Although planes are more expensive than the others, I think it's important that the way we can chooose exists. I know disadvantages of planes. A plane accident's death rate is so high. But we can't deny that planes make people convenient. PS. I always appreciate for your feedback! And I thought I'm not good at writing during this composition.(Not only English writing, but also justr writing)

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! It\'s a good thing that you still had the time to do your homework despite you being very tired from work. I appreciate it! ^ ^

You actually did great with this one. You were able to convey your thoughts well and was able to put your sentences in order and coherently. Way to go! ^ ^

A little more practice and you will be writing your own book! ^ ^

-Teacher Jedah

I\'d like to talk about planes.

>>Perfect!

Thanks to planes, people can go abroad and transport stuffs.

>>Perfect!

In the past, no one could imagine going abroad through the sky.

>>Perfect!

If they wanted to go to other countries, they should take buses, trains, or boats.

>>Perfect!

Surely, they were slower trasportations.

>>Surely, they were slower kinds of transportation. (transportation is a non countable noun so we do not put \"s\")

So planes made it easy for people to move and took smaller time than the others.

>>So planes made it easy for people to move and took a shorter time than the others.

It tooks about 5 hours from Seoul to Busan if I ride a bus, but planes took only 1 hour!

>>It takes about 5 hours from Seoul to Busan if I ride a bus, but planes take only 1 hour! ( we use the present tense since it\'s a general truth and a repeated action)

Although planes are more expensive than the others, I think it\'s important that the way we can chooose exists.

>>Although planes are more expensive than the others, I think it\'s important that different kinds of transportation exist where we can choose which one to take.

I know disadvantages of planes.

>>I know about the disadvantages of riding airplanes.

A plane accident\'s death rate is so high.

>>Perfect!

But we can\'t deny that planes make people convenient.

>>But we can\'t deny that planes are a convenient way to travel.

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