1029 homework

Hi [이름], my awesome and one of a kind student! ^ ^ Thank you for  accomplishing your homework. I appreciate it!  ^^

You gave me a very clear picture of what video games can do with your sentences. Nice one! I also agree with your point.

Playing video games is different from playing positive, constructive games. While they say that videogames promote some complex solving and coordination skills as well, they have multiple negative effects. Some of which are; the player associates violence with pleasure, the player practices violent behavior many times. Whatever a person practices repeatedly becomes an automatic response. ^ ^

-Teacher Jedah

I agree that video games contribute to youth violence.

>>Correct

Because I saw a paper about video games.

>>Because I read an article about video games.  

It said that video games can contribute to people.

>>It said that video games can contribute to people\'s behavior. 

It\'s about sooting games, bloody games which can contribute to violence not only children but also adults.

>>It\'s about shooting games and bloody games which can contribute to violence not only to children but also to adults.

As you know, in the games, we feel like we are a god who can controll everything.

>>As you know, in the games, we feel like we are gods who can control everything.

We can kill and hit anyone who is bothering me.

>>We can kill and hit anyone who is bothering us.

In adult\'s case, we can controll ourselves more easily than children.

>>As adults, we can control ourselves more easily than children.

But children might be addicted with video games easily and they can be confused wether it\'s a real or not.

>>But children may get addicted with video games and may easily confuse reality from not. 

Unfortunately, I love computer games.

>>Correct

One year ago, my legs are in the bad condition so I couldn\'t do anyrhing except for games.

>>One year ago, I badly hurt my leg, so I couldn\'t do anything except to play video games.

As a result, I played a game for 5 hours a day.

>>Correct

I think it\'s a time waste.

>>I think it\'s a waste of time. 

At that time, I was sensative.

>>At that time, I was sensitive.

Based on my experience, it can be contribute to violence.

>>Based on my experience, it can contribute to violence.

>>Based on my experience, it can contribute to a persons\' violent behavior.