103. Homework

2018-04-19 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

ESSAY: What can we do to solve the problem of food shortage? I think there are a lot of enough foods to have and only few people are having the problem of foods shortage. And then, when I watched an advertisement which gathered money for helping people who have been suffering food shortage on TV, I was wondering if I sent them even a few amount money, it would be helpful or not. And even if I was young, I already knew that many companies pretended to corrupt money from these problems only for their benefits. So, I think to give or make jobs for them earning money is the best idea solving the problem. That’s because after they have enough money to buy something to eat, they are not having the problem anymore. And I don’t like to give money to bagger for free since I believe in the sentence ‘a person who has never worked does not eat too’. Actually, I think it is not suitable answer for the question. However, my brain is not working well now. Hence, I want to just finish this writing.

강사 첨삭

Good morning, Jason^^

Starvation is a heartbreaking problem people in some parts of Africa experience.

I hope people\'s help could directly reach them.

Have a great day!

ESSAY: What can we do to solve the problem of food shortage?
>>CORRECT!

I think there are a lot of enough foods to have and only few people are having the problem of foods shortage.

>>I think that food supply is enough, and only few people are having the problem of foods shortage.

And then, when I watched an advertisement which gathered money for helping people who have been suffering food shortage on TV, I was wondering if I sent them even a few amount money, it would be helpful or not.

>>And then, when I watched an advertisement which gathered money for helping people who have been suffering food shortage on TV, I was wondering if sending them even a few amount money would be helpful or not.

And even if I was young, I already knew that many companies pretended to corrupt money from these problems only for their benefits.
>>CORRECT!
So, I think to give or make jobs for them earning money is the best idea solving the problem.

>>So, I think to give or make jobs for them to ear money is the best idea to solve the problem.
That’s because after they have enough money to buy something to eat, they are not having the problem anymore.

>>That’s because after they have enough money to buy something to eat, they won\'t have a problem anymore.
 And I don’t like to give money to bagger for free since I believe in the sentence ‘a person who has never worked does not eat too’.
>>
 And I don’t like to give money to beggars for free since I believe in the sentence, ‘A person who has never worked does not eat too’.
Actually, I think it is not suitable answer for the question.

>>Actually, I don\'t think it is a suitable answer for the question.

 However, my brain is not working well now.

>>CORRECT!

Hence, I want to just finish this writing.

>>CORRECT!

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