1030 homework

Hi [이름]! A wonderful day to you! Thank you for doing your homework and sharing your thoughts about it. ^ ^ I am awed with how you composed your essay! There is coherency and good flow of thoughts. Good job!

Smoking is a serious issue and it\'s a very bad habit to begin with. Like what you have said, it is not only harmful to the smokers but it can greatly affect non smokers or second hand smokers. But if we are to rank them in order, according to studies, alcohol ranks first, followed by cigarettes, then gambling, then the internet and last would be the use of cellphones. ^ ^

-Teacher Jedah

It\'s hard to compare but I think the most serious addiction is cigarettes.

>>Correct

I always emphasize people\'s health.

>>I always emphasize on people\'s health. 

Many people have killed by cigarettes for a long time not only for smokers but also for non-smoker.

>>Many people have died because of smoking for a long time, and not only for smokers but also for non-smokers. 

Because second-hand smoking is extremely fatal.

>>Correct

And the second one that I think is gambling, Gambling is highly addictive.

>>And the second one I think is gambling. Gambling is highly addictive. 

So people used to go bankrupt because of gambling.

>>So people go bankrupt because of gambling. 

And it could ruin their familiy.

>>And it could ruin their familiy.  (correct sentence, typo error with \"family\")

>>And it ruins their family.

I saw many cases of them on the TV.

>>Correct (or on TV, no need to put the article \"the\")

The third one is alcohol.

>>Correct 

It usually comes with depression.

>>Correct 

Many Koreans love alcohol so it can be dangerous.

>>Correct 

The fourth one is the Internet.

>>Correct 

Funny things are in Internet.

>>Funny things are in the Internet. 

As I told you, many children (also adults) addictied with computergames and Internet.

>>As I have told you, many children (also adults) get hooked with computer games and the Internet. 

It interupts their daily life.

>>Correct

Last one is texting messages on a cell phone.

>>Correct 

Modern people use cell phones a lot.

>>Correct 

I think appropriate amount of use is cool but excessive use is not good.

>>Correct

I think the score is above all but degree of using them is more important.

>>Correct