11/23-hw

2018-11-23 · 첨삭 강사 Charry

학생이 쓴 원문

Time passed. Chapter6: New sister Roxy didn't shave his beard so he has long beard now. When he was young he liked to draw paintings so he just focused on his paintings to forget about his sad memories. Thanks to his talented aunt Soora and his mom Moora, he had enough money without getting a job. One day somebody knocked. He ignore it because he thought he must be a post officer but the sound didn't stop like other days. Roxy was upset and he opened the door with annoyance. There was a young lady there. "Who are you?" "Hi, I am [Name],I am your sister." He thought she is a pretty crazy girl so he tried to shut the door but she said "your mom is Moora.. right? Do you know about your dad? I am his daughter so we are siblings." Roxy hasn't heard of his dad. Whenever he asked about him, Moora looked very upset without any saying so he was scared and stopped to ask it. "My dad is Taehyun. He talked about you often so I have wondered about you. Fianlly I met you my brother!" Vanessa said

강사 첨삭

Hello again [이름]! ^_^
Here\'s the second part. :)
See you in class later. :*
~Teacher Charry

Time passed.

>> CORRECT!
Chapter6: New sister

>> Chapter6: New Sister
Roxy didn\'t shave his beard so he has long beard now.

>> Roxy didn\'t shave his beard so he has a long beard now.

When he was young he liked to draw paintings so he just focused on his paintings to forget about his sad memories.

>> When he was young he liked to paintings so he just focused on his paintings to forget about his sad memories.

Thanks to his talented aunt Soora and his mom Moora, he had enough money without getting a job.

>> CORRECT!
One day somebody knocked.

>> One day somebody knocked on his door.

He ignore it because he thought he must be a post officer but the sound didn\'t stop like other days.

>> He ignored it because he thought he must be a post-man from the post office but the sound didn\'t stop like the other days.

Roxy was upset and he opened the door with annoyance.

>> CORRECT!

There was a young lady there.

>> There was a young lady standing on the other side of the door.
\"Who are you?\"

>> CORRECT!
\"Hi, I am [Name],I am your sister.\"

>> \"Hi, I am [Name]. I am your sister.\"
He thought she is a pretty crazy girl so he tried to shut the door but she said \"your mom is Moora.. right? Do you know about your dad? I am her daughter so we are siblings.\"

>> He thought she is a pretty crazy girl so he tried to shut the door but she said, \"Your mom is Moora, right? Do you know about your dad? I am her daughter so we are siblings.\"

Roxy hasn\'t heard of his dad.

>> CORRECT!

Whenever he asked about him, Moora looked very upset without any saying so he was scared and stopped to ask it.

>> Whenever he asked about him, Moora looked very upset without saying anything. So he was scared and eventually stopped asking about him.
\"My dad is Taehyun. He talked about you often so I have wondered about you. Fianlly I met you my brother!\" Vanessa said

>> \"My dad is Taehyun. He talked about you often so I have wondered about you. Finally, I met you my brother!\", Vanessa said.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기