11.27
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!
I truly appreciate your effort in continuously doing your composition homework. Your ideas make a lot of sense and are well-organized. Keep it up. See you in our class later! ^^
~~Teacher Kate
1. I will simply write about my Europe traveling plan after mt military service.
>>>I will simply write down my travel plans for Europe after my military service.
2. Originally,my dream was to travel in Europe freely for a month.
>>>CORRECT!
OR>>> My original plan was to travel in Europe for a month.
3. However, it is not enough to realize my dream with salary of military service in reality.
>>>However, in reality, my salary from my military service is not enough to realize this dream.
4. Accordingly, I decided to reduce traveling period from a month to two weeks.
>>>CORRECT!
OR>>> Consequently, I had to cut down the duration from a month to just two weeks.
5. I will vist four countries in Europe (Germany,Czech republic,Austria,Hungary) and I will visit mainly famous places in each country.
>>> I will vist four countries in Europe (Germany,Czech republic,Austria,Hungary) and I will visit famous places in each country.
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