11/27 homework

2019-11-28 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

I learned the importance of family and self-esteem in my 20s. I thought my life was very stable. I have a family consists of excellent parents and a lovely brother and sister. Although I had a lot of worries, I entered university at once where I wanted. I met a boyfriend, he was my senior in my major and we loved so much. If someone asked me what was the most difficult thing in my life at that time, I didn\'t have anything. My life was perfect. For most 20s young people, friends or boyfriend or girlfriend are the most important in their life. Family is surely important, but family is just people who are nearby me. When I broke up with him, it was my first pain. The man who I trusted as the closest and loving person has gone away and the only family remained with me. I realized that the most important people are family from the experience. In addition, I understood that self-esteem is very important to live happy life and It is only by myself, not the others.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! Thank you for taking time in doing your homework. I really appreciate your diligence and dedication with it! ^ ^
Good thoughts on this one too! Very well said. Experiences either break us or make us. With this experience, it taught you an important lesson and that is the love and importance of a family. And I agree with you too. Happiness doesn\'t come from other people but happiness should come from you! ^ ^

I learned the importance of family and self-esteem in my 20s.
>>CORRECT
I thought my life was very stable.
>>CORRECT
I have a family consists of excellent parents and a lovely brother and sister.
>>I have a family with excellent parents and a lovely brother and a sister.
Although I had a lot of worries, I entered university at once where I wanted.
>>CORRECT
I met a boyfriend, he was my senior in my major and we loved so much.
>>I met my boyfriend when he was my senior in my major and we loved each other so much.
If someone asked me what was the most difficult thing in my life at that time, I didn\'t have anything.
>>CORRECT
My life was 
perfect
>>CORRECT
For most 20s young people, friends or boyfriend or girlfriend are the most important in their life.
>>For most young people in their 20\'s, having friends, a boyfriend or a girlfriend is what matters most.
Family is surely important, but family is just people who are nearby me.
>>My family is surely important, but they are just people who are nearby.
When I broke up with him, it was my first pain.
>>When I broke up with my boyfriend, I felt the very first pain in my life.
The man who I trusted as the closest and loving person has gone away and the only family remained with me.
>>The man who I trusted as the closest and loving person has gone away and I only had my family with me.
I realized that the most important people are family from the experience.
>>From my experience, I now realized that the most important people are my family.
In addition, I understood that self-esteem is very important to live happy life and It is only by myself, not the others.
>>In addition, I understood that self-esteem is very important to live a happy life and happiness comes from me and not from others.

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