11
학생이 쓴 원문
Let me tell you about my mobile phone.
It has a lot of the function. For example it can use as a cemera phone, an mp3, TV phone, call, GPS and internet.
It is a small so it can do always with me.
While lost it, I couldn't do my all work when I found it.
Because it is very expensive so I can't buy it again for a long time.
I like to listen the music and watching the movie with my mobile phone.
I think that it is the most useful in the world.
If I don't have a mobile phone, my life would probably different and difficult.
강사 첨삭
Hello there [이름]!
Thank you for answering the composition topic. ^^
It is well thought-out and the corrections made were to provide the missing prepositions, articles and such.
Rephrasing was also done to help with the overall articulateness.
Good job [이름]. ^^
See you in class. ^^
= Teacher Bella =
Let me tell you about my mobile phone.
>> CORRECT
>> OR: I would like to tell you about my mobile phone.
It has a lot of the function. For example it can use as a cemera phone, an mp3, TV phone, call, GPS and internet.
>> It has various functions where aside from being able to call, it can also be used as a camera, an MP3 player, a TV, an internet browser and a GPS system.
It is a small so it can do always with me.
>> It is small so I can always bring it along with me.
While lost it, I couldn\'t do my all work when I found it.Because it is very expensive so I can\'t buy it again for a long time.
>> When I lost my phone, I couldn\'t do any of my work and since it was quite expensive, I couldn\'t buy a replacement for some time.
I like to listen the music and watching the movie with my mobile phone.
>> I like listening to music and watching movies on my mobile phone.
I think that it is the most useful in the world.
>> I think it is the most useful thing in the world.
If I don\'t have a mobile phone, my life would probably different and difficult. >> My life would probably be difficult and somewhat different if I don\'t have a mobile phone.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.