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2015-04-23 · 첨삭 강사 Bella

학생이 쓴 원문

Let me tell you about my mobile phone. It has a lot of the function. For example it can use as a cemera phone, an mp3, TV phone, call, GPS and internet. It is a small so it can do always with me. While lost it, I couldn't do my all work when I found it. Because it is very expensive so I can't buy it again for a long time. I like to listen the music and watching the movie with my mobile phone. I think that it is the most useful in the world. If I don't have a mobile phone, my life would probably different and difficult.

강사 첨삭

Hello there [이름]!   Thank you for answering the composition topic. ^^ It is well thought-out and the corrections made were to provide the missing prepositions, articles and such. Rephrasing was also done to help with the overall articulateness. Good job [이름]. ^^     See you in class. ^^ = Teacher Bella =     Let me tell you about my mobile phone. >> CORRECT >> OR: I would like to tell you about my mobile phone. It has a lot of the function. For example it can use as a cemera phone, an mp3, TV phone, call, GPS and internet. >> It has various functions where aside from being able to call,  it can also be used as a camera, an MP3 player, a TV, an internet browser and a GPS system. It is a small so it can do always with me. >> It is small so I can always bring it along with me. While lost it, I couldn\'t do my all work when I found it.Because it is very expensive so I can\'t buy it again for a long time. >> When I lost my phone, I couldn\'t do any of my work and since it was quite expensive, I couldn\'t buy a replacement for some time. I like to listen the music and watching the movie with my mobile phone. >> I like listening to music and watching movies on my mobile phone. I think that it is the most useful in the world. >> I think it is the most useful thing in the world. If I don\'t have a mobile phone, my life would probably different and difficult. >> My life would probably be difficult and somewhat different if I don\'t have a mobile phone.  

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