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2016-11-01 · 첨삭 강사 Lynn

학생이 쓴 원문

My co-worker is very a good man because he is helping for the needy with his friends. A few years ago, he decided to hold a one-day concert with his friends. So I bought tickets and I attended the concert with my family. There were many famous singers and many good people. All the proceeds of the concert used for the poor. I am proud of my co-worker.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]!

Good to see you back! I hope you are fully healed. Thank you for making your homework. You are a responsible student. See you in class later!

Take Care!

~T. Lynn

My co-worker is very a good man because he is helping for the needy with his friends.

>>My co-worker is a very good man because he is helping the needy with his friends.

OR>> My co-worker is a good man because helps the needy together with his friends.
A few years ago, he decided to hold a one-day concert with his friends.

>> correct!
So I bought tickets and I attended the concert with my family.

>> correct!
There were many famous singers and many good people.

>> correct!
All the proceeds of the concert used for the poor.

>> All the proceeds of the concert was used to help the poor.
I am proud of my co-worker.

>> correct!

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