112. Homework

2018-05-03 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

ESSAY: How have you benefited from being at school/ university apart from gaining knowledge? First, students are able to get some indirect experiences from the school and university regarding society since we called it kind of small society. Second, some people are able to dream, what they want to become, while they have a class. Third, they might learn how to make a friend, and how to handle relationship with a people who have opposite behavior. Fourth, they will learn how to help others such as disable people, elders or someone who need to get help. Fifth, they will distinguish some people who they must avoid for having their comfortable life. Sixth, some people can get strong liver. It's because university student may drink often owing to the parties from the diversity reasons. Besides, the liver would be good at detoxification about alcohol. Finally, my idea was sold out, so I don’t have any idea for now. But, I just want to say that students can learn and get plenty of the benefits from the school. However, unfortunately, they don’t know just now and will realize it when they are in real society. Anyways, when I meet someone who is a student, I always give him or her advice that enjoy your school life whatever you want except criminals.

강사 첨삭

Although many people believe that school isn\'t a necessary aspect anymore, I insist that theoretical foundation is still important before practical knowledge.

Have a great day, Jason! See you tomorrow!

ESSAY: How have you benefited from being at school/ university apart from gaining knowledge?
>>CORRECT!
First, students are able to get some indirect experiences from the school and university regarding society since we called it kind of small society.
>>
First, students are able to get some indirect experiences from school and university regarding society since we call it a kind of small society.
Second, some people are able to dream, what they want to become, while they have a class.
>>
Second, some people are able to dream of what they want to become while they have a class.
Third, they might learn how to make a friend, and how to handle relationship with a people who have opposite behavior.
>>
Third, they might learn how to make a friend, and how to handle relationships with people who have opposite behavior.
Fourth, they will learn how to help others such as disable people, elders or someone who need to get help.
>>
Fourth, they will learn how to help others such as disabled people, elders or someone who needs help.
Fifth, they will distinguish some people who they must avoid for having their comfortable life.
>>
Fifth, they will distinguish some people who they must avoid in order to have a comfortable life.
Sixth, some people can get strong liver.

>>Sixth, some people can get a strong liver.

It\'s because university student may drink often owing to the parties from the diversity reasons.

>>It\'s because university students may drink often owing to the parties from diverse reasons.

Besides, the liver would be good at detoxification about alcohol.
>>
Besides, the liver would be good at detoxification from alcohol.
Finally, my idea was sold out, so I don’t have any idea for now.

>>CORRECT!

But, I just want to say that students can learn and get plenty of the benefits from the school.

>>But, I just want to say that students can learn and get plenty of the benefits from school.

However, unfortunately, they don’t know just now and will realize it when they are in real society.
>>
However, unfortunately, they currently don\'t know it, and they will realize it when they are in real society.
Anyways, when I meet someone who is a student, I always give him or her advice that enjoy your school life whatever you want except criminals.

>>Anyways, when I meet someone who is a student, I always give him or her advice that enjoy your school life however you want except mingling with criminals.

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