114. Homework

2018-05-09 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

ESSAY: Would you like to have a large family? Why or why not? I’d like to have a small family instead of having a large family. The reasons are stated below. First, large family gets a lot of mouths rather than small family. Thus, it makes me spending money more and I should have to give up the things that I want to buy for maintaining the large family. Second, I will get plenty of stress points if I have a large family. It’s because I am a person who like to control all of the things in my boundary. Third, in my opinion, if I have something more it means someday I will lose more. I had realized it while I reared hamster, dogs, and chicks. Every single time, it gave me unexpected sorrow when it was gone. These reasons are why I prefer having small family.

강사 첨삭

Thank you very much, Jason^^

Personally, I prefer to have a small family, so I could focus on my each of my children\'s needs.

Have a great day and see you~

ESSAY: Would you like to have a large family? Why or why not?
>>CORRECT!
I’d like to have a small family instead of having a large family.

>>CORRECT!
 The reasons are stated below.
>>CORRECT!

First, large family gets a lot of mouths rather than small family.

>>First, a large family feeds a lot of mouths rather than a small family.

Thus, it makes me spending money more and I should have to give up the things that I want to buy for maintaining the large family.
>>Thus, it makes me spend more
money, and I have to give up the things that I want to buy to maintain the large family. 
Second, I will get plenty of stress points if I have a large family.

>>CORRECT!

 It’s because I am a person who like to control all of the things in my boundary.
>> It’s because I am a person who likes to control all of the things within my boundary.
Third, in my opinion, if I have something more it means someday I will lose more.

>>Third, in my opinion, if I have more of something, it means someday I will lose more.

 I had realized it while I reared hamster, dogs, and chicks.

>> I had realized it when I reared a hamster, dogs, and chicks.

 Every single time, it gave me unexpected sorrow when it was gone.
>>CORRECT!
These reasons are why I prefer having small family.

>>These are the reasons why I prefer to have a small family.

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