11Nov2024_homework

2024-11-12 · 첨삭 강사 Sonny

학생이 쓴 원문

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: Writing task: How old should a child be before they are allowed to use the internet? Answer: My daughter has been using the Internet since she was 6 years old. I think her first using with the internet when she watched YouTube from the outside. In Korea very sensitive to the noise of children in restaurants. I wanted to get my daughter using to the internet as late as possible, but It didn\'t go as I planned. Also when she go to kindergarden, all classes are using tablet PC, so I think everyone uses the internet quicky these days.

강사 첨삭

Hello, Ms. [Name]! I agree with you on this. It\'s inevitable at this day and age. However, I also believe that children\'s screen time should be closely supervised and limited.
-T. Sonny
 My daughter has been using the Internet since she was 6 years old. 
>>Correct!
I think her first using with the internet when she watched YouTube from the outside. 
>>I think the first time she used the internet was when she watched on YouTube while we were out.
In Korea very sensitive to the noise of children in restaurants.
>>In Korea, people are highly sensitive to children\'s noise in restaurants.
I wanted to get my daughter using to the internet as late as possible, but It didn\'t go as I planned.
>>I wanted to get my daughter to using the internet as late as possible, but it didn\'t go as planned.
Also when she go to kindergarden, all classes are using tablet PC, so I think everyone uses the internet quicky these days.
>>Also, when she started kindergarten, all classes use a tablet, so, I think everyone uses the internet at an early age these days.

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