12/13 homework

2019-12-13 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

[Why do people become criminals? What are the causes of crime? Are some people born bad or do they become criminals as a consequence of the environment?] I don\'t believe that human nature is fundamentally good or bad. I think a consequence of the environment is very important. But the mental problem like a psychopath is a different problem. We learn about happiness, sadness, pain, sympathy, and so on when we are growing up. I think the most important emotion which we should learn is sympathy. We learn not to do anything that hurts others, for example, murder and violence. So, I believe that sympathy ability relates to intelligence. But, sometimes, there is a very sad problem in the back of society. I watched the articles that young boy and war veteran stole foods because they had no money and were hungry. Several extremely situations make us can not think rationally. So, we need a government and tax to care for social underprivilege and prevent to be criminals.

강사 첨삭

WOW! Thank you for this wonderful thoughts [이름]! I really appreciate it. And I must say you really have improved a lot with your writing skills! Way to go!  ^^
-Teacher Jedah

I don\'t believe that human nature is fundamentally good or bad.
>>CORRECT
I think a consequence of the environment is very important.
>>CORRECT
But the mental problem like a psychopath is a different problem.
>>CORRECT
We learn about happiness, sadness, pain, sympathy, and so on when we are growing up.
>>CORRECT
I think the most important emotion which we should learn is sympathy.
>>CORRECT
We learn not to do anything that hurts others, for example, murder and violence.
>>CORRECT
So, I believe that sympathy ability relates to intelligence.
>>CORRECT
But, sometimes, there is a very sad problem in the back of society.
>>But, sometimes, there is a very sad problem in the society.
I watched the articles that young boy and war veteran stole foods because they had no money and were hungry.
>>I watched a documentary about a young boy and a war veteran who stole food because they had no money and were hungry.
Several extremely situations make us can not think rationally.
>>Extreme situations drive us to not think rationally.
So, we need a government and tax to care for social underprivilege and prevent to be criminals.
>>So, we need a government that implements fare tax for the underprivileged and to prevent crimes or social injustices.

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