12/22 (Essay) Can you play a musical instrument? Or did you play one as a child?

2020-12-23 · 첨삭 강사 Dee

학생이 쓴 원문

Learning musical instrument adds to the quality of life. When we play it, we can focus on, fee comfort, and also get sense of musical. When I was a young, I used to play piano. At that time, I didn\'t realize how important to practice myself to improve. So, I felt boring while playing piano. In addition, I played chello when i was middle school. I was captured by beautiful melody of cello. Unfortunally, the place where i learn it is too far to go, i quited it. Thesedays, I want to learn musical instrument to improve my life. As soon as the situration become better, I planned to restart cello.

강사 첨삭

Hello Miss. [Name]! I am glad to know that you have a musical background. I hope that you continue playing musical instruments again. Have a good day!

Learning musical instrument adds to the quality of life. 
>>Learning how to play musical instrument adds to the quality of life.
When we play it, we can focus on, fee comfort, and also get sense of musical.
>>When we play a musical instrument, we can focus, feel comfort, and also get a sense of music as an art form. 
When I was a young, I used to play piano. 
>>CORRECT!
At that time, I didn\'t realize how important to practice myself to improve. 
>>At that time, I didn\'t realize how important it is to practice to improve my skills. 
So, I felt boring while playing piano.
>>This is why, I felt bored while playing piano.
In addition, I played chello when i was middle school. 
>>In addition, I played the cello when I was in middle school. 
I was captured by beautiful melody of cello. 
>>I was captured by the beautiful melody of the cello. 
Unfortunally, the place where i learn it is too far to go, i quited it.
>>Unfortunately, the place where I study playing it was too far so I quit.
Thesedays, I want to learn musical instrument to improve my life. 
>>These days, I want to learn how to play musical instruments again to improve my life. 
As soon as the situration become better, I planned to restart cello.
>>As soon as the situation become better, I plan to start playing  the cello again.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·