1203[homework]
학생이 쓴 원문
Q. Why do many people try to have a healthy lifestyle?
What is the main purpose of it?
Answer
=> A healthy life without pain is only one reason that they want to live for a long time.
I think, this is the fundamental reason. An unheathy life is unhappy.
You don't think the same?
A long time ago, many peoples were dead because they didn't have the money for cure a disease.
But these days many peoples easy can cure diseases, because the medicine is developed.
Although it is developed, the most of peoples are worrying about the healthy.
If i will become unhealthy, it costs medical expensive and they are afraid to die after suffering severe pain.
Conclusionlly, the purpose of it that they want to live a long time without the pain.
강사 첨삭
Good afternoon [이름]! Thanks for sharing your answers.
I think you are very smart person. You express yourself through writing.
You can also check the grammar corrections below. Good job! ^^
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~~May~~
A healthy life without pain is only one reason that they want to live for a long time.>> A healthy lifestyle without any pain is the only reason why people want to live for a long time.
I think, this is the fundamental reason.
I think, this is the fundamental reason.
>> I think this is very important/fundamental.
An unheathy life is unhappy.
>> An unhealthy lifestyle is not good and feels unhappy.
You don\'t think the same?
A long time ago, many peoples were dead because they didn\'t have the money for cure a disease.
You don\'t think the same?
A long time ago, many peoples were dead because they didn\'t have the money for cure a disease.
>> A long time ago, many people died because they didn\'t have enough money or financial support for hospitalization.
But these days many peoples easy can cure diseases, because the medicine is developed.
But these days many peoples easy can cure diseases, because the medicine is developed.
>> But these days, many people can now afford to cure diseases because of newly created medicines.
Although it is developed, the most of peoples are worrying about the healthy.
Although it is developed, the most of peoples are worrying about the healthy.
>> Although many medicines have already been effective, most people are still worried about their health.
If i will become unhealthy, it costs medical expensive and they are afraid to die after suffering severe pain.
If i will become unhealthy, it costs medical expensive and they are afraid to die after suffering severe pain.
>> If I will become ill, medical treatments will be costly and people are also afraid of dying after suffering from severe pain.
Conclusionlly, the purpose of it that they want to live a long time without the pain.
Conclusionlly, the purpose of it that they want to live a long time without the pain.
>> In conclusion, the purpose is to live happily and longer without any sickness.
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