1217homework

2018-12-17 · 첨삭 강사 May

학생이 쓴 원문

Q In what ways is racism and discrimination a problem in society? A. It is evil which should not have happened too often. Racism is an act that shuold never be done. In korea, children from Southest Asia are also being discimination against. They are being abused and left out from classmate at school. It was reported on the news a few days ago. It is so sad reality!! Their parents are very bush to working hard so they don\'t have time to take care of their children. This is a social problem in the world. I also have a problem. I am worried that my daughter is studying in America. We must accept them and take care of them to grow well. We should think of as family. Although they are different race and languge, they must be looked after by each other because they are the same person. Racism and discrimination must disappear forever around the world. Until now [이름]\'s thought. See you again. The question is a little difficult.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! You said that the question is difficult but you answered it well!
You were able to share your thoughts. And that\'s a great a job!
Although there are grammar errors but it\'s minimal.
Yes. Racism and discrimination, in general, is really one of the social issues in the world.
We can\'t avoid that. There\'s discrimination everywhere.
I feel sorry to those who are bullied and feel angry to those who bully.
They should learn their lessons. See you again tomorrow. ^^
~~May~~
It is evil which should not have happened too often.
>> It is evil which should not BE happened too often.
Racism is an act that shuold never be done.
>> CORRECT GRAMMAR
>> SHOULD (Spelling)
In korea, children from Southest Asia are also being discimination against.
>> In Korea, children from Southeast Asia are also being discriminated.
They are being abused and left out from classmate at school.
>> They are being abused and left out from the class.
 It was reported on the news a few days ago.
>> CORRECT GRAMMAR
It is so sad reality!!
>> It is a very sad reality!!
Their parents are very bush to working hard so they don\'t have time to take care of their children.
>> Their parents are very busy working that\'s why they don\'t have time to take care of their children.
This is a social problem in the world.
>> CORRECT GRAMMAR
I also have a problem.
>> CORRECT GRAMMAR
I am worried that my daughter is studying in America. 
>> I am worried because my daughter is studying in America. 
We must accept them and take care of them to grow well.
>> CORRECT GRAMMAR
We should think of as family.
>> We should think of them as a family.
Although they are different race and languge, they must be looked after by each other because they are the same person.
>> Even though they have different race and language, they must be treated the same like other people because we are all equal.
Racism and discrimination must disappear forever around the world.
>> Racism and discrimination must be rid in the world.

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