126. Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Thank you very much, Jason!
I think for us, earning money is our huge motivation because we are aware of the possibilities it could give^^
Have a great day, and see you!
ESSAY: Is determination a more powerful motivator than money?
>>CORRECT!
Some people don’t consider how much they earn money because they just want to help others from their actions.
>>Some people don’t consider how much money they earn, because they just want to help others from their actions.
Thus, they are respected by the others since most people can not do the same action as them.
>>Thus, they are respected by the others since most people cannot do the same action as them.
However, sadly, I am an ordinary person who has motivation related earning money.
>>However, sadly, I am an ordinary person who has a motivation related to earning money.
Therefore, most my determinations such as my wishes are related earning money.
>>Therefore, most of my determinations such as my wishes are related to earning money.
I would like to buy a house including garden and swimming pool, gorgeous car, camera, and something delicious to eat.
>>I would like to buy a house including a garden and a swimming pool, a gorgeous car, a camera, and something delicious to eat.
Furthermore, I hope I can protect my family well from the plenty of illnesses.
>> Furthermore, I hope I could protect my family well from plenty of illnesses.
Thus, I guess it takes amount of money since I need to buy medicines and pay cost for an operation or check in the hospital.
>>Thus, I guess it takes a huge amount of money since I need to buy medicines and pay cost for an operation or check in the hospital.
Hence, I can\'t answer about the question well since I don’t know how to isolate between my motivation and earning money.
>>Hence, I can\'t answer the question well since I don’t know how to isolate my motivation from earning money.
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