16

2018-02-07 · 첨삭 강사 Lynn

학생이 쓴 원문

Health is very important in our life. These days most people can live long time. So they want to keep healthily in their life. However nowadays there are a lot of delious foods everywhere. So we can't keep our health when we become fat. So most people start dieting but they repeat the same mistakes. Eat food and go diet again, again and again. So dieting industry can develop for a long time.

강사 첨삭

Hi there Ms. [이름]!(\",)

I know that you have been fighting with your weight for  along time. As for me, I gave up the fight  along time ago. (\",)

Take care!(\",)

~T. Lynn

Health is very important in our life.

>> correct!
 These days most people can live long time.

>> correct!

OR>> People have longer life span now.
 So they want to keep healthily in their life.

>> So they want to be healthy all their life.
 However, nowadays there are a lot of delious foods everywhere.

>> correct!
 So we can\'t keep our health when we become fat.

>> So we can\'t be healthy when we become fat.
 So most people start dieting but they repeat the same mistakes.

>> correct!
 Eat food and go diet again, again and again.

>> correct!
 So dieting industry can develop for a long time.

>> So the dieting industry can develop for  a long time.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·