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2018-01-10 · 첨삭 강사 Lynn

학생이 쓴 원문

I think Korean people want to be happy and rich early. They believe rich is happy. So they want to make money early but it is very difficult to get money early. So they give up it early and they feel unhappy. Maybe they decide to give up their life. I thin that is the reason why Korea has very high suicide rate.

강사 첨삭

Hi there Ms. [이름]!(\",)

I\'m so proud of you Ms. [이름]! You can state your opinion regarding social issues now. Your sentences are becoming longer and more complex too. Keep it up!(\",0

Take care!(\",)

~T. Lynn

I think Korean people want to be happy and rich early.

>> correct!
They believe rich is happy.

>> They believe being rich means happiness.

OR>> They believe that if they are rich, they will be happy.
So they want to make money early but it is very difficult to get money early.

>> correct!
So they give up it early and they feel unhappy.

>> So they give up early then it makes them unhappy.
Maybe they decide to give up their life.

>> Sometimes they decide to end their lives.
I thin that is the reason why Korea has very high suicide rate.

>> correct!

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