190213 homework

Hi Yun Chae! I enjoyed reading your work. I can sense that you truly had a great time with your family in Saipan. I am excited to know where is your next family vacation trip going to be. I have made some corrections on your homework. Be aware that conjunctions like and, but and so are not usually used to begin a sentence because they are supposed to be used in the middle of a compound sentence to join two simple sentences. You may observe it being used at the beginning in spoken English but it is discouraged in written English. I hope that you remember this rule when writing an essay. By the way, I am amazed by your writing skills in general. You were able to clearly create a picture of that summer vacation you had with your family on this short essay. Keep it up!~T. Dee

The best memory I have with my family is when I have been to Saipan.

>>The best memory I have with my family is when we had a vacation in Saipan.  

I went there in August of last year for six days and five nights.

>>We went there in August of last year and stayed for six days and five nights.

It only took 4 hour and half by an airplane, so that it wasn\'t that tired.

>>It only took 4 hours and half by an airplane to get there so that it wasn\'t that very tiring.

But my brother was doing a inthernship in Guam so there were only me, my sister, father, and mom.

>>My brother was doing a inthernship in Guam so there were only me, my sister, father, and mother (or dad and mom).

With the guide\'s information, we could have more fun.

>>CORRECT!

>>OR: With the guide\'s help, we were able to have more fun.  

And the weather was very sunny.

>>At that time of the year, the weather was very sunny.

We went to the beach and I saw a lot of beautiful and big fishes by snorkeling.

>>We went to the beach and I saw a lot of beautiful and big fishes when I snorkeled. 

This was very unusual experience and fun!!

>>CORRECT!

>>OR:This was a very unusual experience and it was truly fun!!

Our hotel was the best hotel I have ever been.

>>CORRECT!

It\'s because there was a huge waterpark and swimming pool.

>>It\'s because there was a huge waterpark and a swimming pool.

I also had time there.

>>I also had a great time there.

It was exciting a lot !

>>It was very exciting!

I think this trip was more meaningful because it was a trip that I had fun with my family after a long time.

>>I think this trip was more meaningful because it was a trip when I had fun with my family after a long time.

I hope my brother could join our next trip.

>>CORRECT!