2/11 HW Q) Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This mon
학생이 쓴 원문
2/11 HW
Q)
Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
A)
Like this statement, which area governments should invest in is always controversial. I think governments should keep
강사 첨삭
Hi Louie!
To answer your question, you should always be mindful of straying off-topic when you write.
This is especially true in IELTS.
You have to make sure that you hit the important points given in questions.
In this composition, you have extensively discussed the space topic.
However, you have forgotten to discuss the importance of human health.
You haven\'t made any comparisons either.
On the other hand, this composition is intelligently written.
I look forward to your future work.
Please take note of this and ask me if you have any questions.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Like this statement, which area governments should invest in is always controversial.
>> Which area governments should invest in is always controversial.
I think governments should keep spending the money on space programs.
>> I think governments should keep spending money on space programs.
I think in this way for a few reasons.
>> I think this way for a few reasons.
First, space programs can save us from a disaster called overpopulation.
>> Correct
These days, thanks to increased life expectancy all over the world, human beings are facing the most dangerous crisis, ‘overpopulation’.
>> Correct
According to a report of World Health Organization, the population will be 3 times till next century.
>> According to a report of World Health Organization, the population will be 3 times more than the present till the next century.
This phenomenon will be extremely terrible catastrophe because of limited natural resources.
>> This phenomenon will be a catastrophe because of limited natural resources.
Even though a genius scientist comes up with sensational new energy, as long as we are standing on the Earth, we will starve from shortage of resources in the end.
>> Even if a genius scientist comes up with a sensational new source of energy, as long as we are standing on Earth, we will starve from shortage of resources in the end.
To solve this, we need to find a planet we can employ and terraform.
>> To solve this, we need to find a planet we can terraform.
Therefore, investing in space programs is necessary.
>> Correct
Secondly, as lots of famous philosophies stressed, we should answer human being’s fundamental question, ‘Where are we from?’.
>> Secondly, as lots of famous philosophies stressed, we should answer human being’s fundamental question, ‘Where are we from?’.
To answer this, we cannot but invest in space programs.
>> Correct
Have you ever heard that we came from space?
>> Have you ever heard of the theory that we came from space?
Even though you think you are not alien at all, that is true.
>> Even though you think you are not alien at all, this statement is true.
Let me explain in detail.
>> Correct
Some molecules heavier than iron consist of human body.
>> Some molecules heavier than iron consist the human body.
Amazingly, they weren’t originated from the Earth.
>> Amazingly, they didn\'t originate from Earth.
Those molecules came from explosion of a supernova millions of [이름]ometers far.
>> Those molecules came from an explosion of a supernova millions of [이름]ometers away.
So, without exploring space, we can’t answer the question, ‘where are we from’.
>> So, without exploring space, we can’t answer the question, ‘Where are we from?’.
That is, our governments should spend the money on space programs to answer the old and philosophically important question.
>> That\'s why our governments should spend money on space programs to answer the old and philosophically important question.
With these reasons, our governments should keep supporting space programs.
>> Correct
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