2/15 homework

2019-02-18 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

[Why do people commit acts of terrorism?-] I also wonder the reason. Some people did a terror due to their religion or benefit. I think the most fatal problem is that innocent people will be sacrificed without knowing why. Sometimes we can see news about terror in the world. But, the victim could be me or family or friends who I love so much. A few years ago, people in the world scared by terror from IS. The victims have appeared in the world from Western to Asia countries. All people are afraid when they go outside or have a trip. We can not predict when or where it will occur. Terror cannot be admitted for any reason, even it will be religion. I think if they want to live in heaven, they can go by themselves without any other sacrifice.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! Thank you for accomplishing your homework. I appreciate it a lot! ^ ^

You made your point here. Terrorism should never be understood nor accepted. It is an act of violence towards people who have the right to live. We all have the right to our own opinion. But going to the extreme of imposing your beliefs by harming others I guess is not something that any Divine Being would want his people to do. These terrorists are selfish and have no value for life. Surely, they will not meet their \"god\" in heaven, but somewhere else! ^ ^

-Teacher Jedah

I also wonder the reason.

>>I also wonder about the reason.
Some people did a terror due to their religion or benefit.

>>Some people do acts of terrorism due to their beliefs or for selfish reasons.
I think the most fatal problem is that innocent people will be sacrificed without knowing why.

>>Correct
Sometimes we can see news about terror in the world.

>>Sometimes we hear and watch news about terrorism in the world.
But, the victim could be me or family or friends who I love so much.

>>I fear that the next victim of these acts could be me, my family or friends whom I love so much.
A few years ago, people in the world scared by terror from IS.

>>A few years ago, people were scared of the terrorists acts by ISIS.
The victims have appeared in the world from Western to Asia countries.

>>Their victims were from around the world; from Western to Asian countries.
All people are afraid when they go outside or have a trip.

>>A lot of people were afraid then especially going outside or on a trip.
We can not predict when or where it will occur.

>>Correct
Terror cannot be admitted for any reason, even it will be religion.

>>Terrorism can not be accepted for any reasons, even if their cause is about religion.
I think if they want to live in heaven, they can go by themselves without any other sacrifice.

>>I think if they want to be with their \"god\", they can go ahead by themselves without sacrificing the lives of others, most especially young and innocent ones.

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