2/18 homework

2020-02-18 · 첨삭 강사 Rachel

학생이 쓴 원문

When I was an undergraduate student, one of my dreams was a working holiday abroad. I wanted to experience a new culture and life and wanted to study English too. I saved the money to go abroad. However, at that time, my parents needed the money for their work. I gave my parents the money that I saved for studying and experiencing abroad. At that time, I thought that I can not go abroad because I don\'t have any money. But, If I think about it now, my mind was very small and I could go abroad after then. I had a part-time job at that time, so I could have saved the money for the flight to aborad. And I could get a job there and go to the academy and study after earning the money. Above all, I wanted to feel a different culture and life. Sometimes, I actually blamed my parents. But, I realized it was inevitable and it was not my fault and parents\' fault too. Perhaps I had no courage at that time. If I go back then, I want to jump in the new world with courage.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름], 
Thanks for doing your homework! You are really a diligent student:)
-Rachel
When I was an undergraduate student, one of my dreams was a working holiday abroad.
>>When I was an undergraduate student, one of my dreams was to do working holiday abroad.
I wanted to experience a new culture and life and wanted to study English too.
>>correct
>> I wanted to experience a new life, learn about new cultures and study English too.
I saved the money to go abroad.
>> I saved money to go abroad.
However, at that time, my parents needed the money for their work.
>> correct
I gave my parents the money that I saved for studying and experiencing abroad.
>> correct
>> I gave my parents the money that I saved for studying and living abroad.
At that time, I thought that I can not go abroad because I don\'t have any money.
>> At that time, I thought that I could not go abroad because I didn\'t have enough money.
But, If I think about it now, my mind was very small and I could go abroad after then.
>> correct
I had a part-time job at that time, so I could have saved the money for the flight to abroad.
>>  I had a part-time job at that time, so I could have saved the money for the plane ticket.
And I could get a job there and go to the academy and study after earning the money.
>> correct
Above all, I wanted to feel a different culture and life.
>> correct
Sometimes, I actually blamed my parents.
>> correct
But, I realized it was inevitable and it was not my fault and parents\' fault too. Perhaps I had no courage at that time.
>> correct
If I go back then, I want to jump in the new world with courage.
>> correct
>> If I could turn back time, I want to jump into the new world courageously.

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