2/27 homework

2020-02-27 · 첨삭 강사 Rachel

학생이 쓴 원문

I feel like that Koreans like to go to dermatology. Many people regularly attend dermatology hospital or skincare shop for skincare, both men and women. I heard that eating and putting on sunscreen to protect our skin are very important, but the power of medical technology is better than those things. I also have experience before my wedding. I regularly attended a skincare shop for two months. At that time, I surprised by my skin changing. I just lived the same way with my routines such as drinking, eating, self-skincare. Only I went to a skincare shop ones per week, my skin is completely changed. I thought that what a fantastic modern technology. My mom injected Botox two times before and after my wedding. I know that it helps prevent wrinkles from forming on the face, but excessive Botox is very dangerous. So, doctors say \"don\'t overdo the Botox\". However, I think that getting help from the medical technology within a safe guideline and limit improve the self-confidence.

강사 첨삭

Hola [이름],
Wow, that was really quick! Thanks as always for finding time to do your homework:)
-Rachel
I feel like that Koreans like to go to dermatology.
>> I think Koreans enjoy visiting the dermatologist. 
Many people regularly attend dermatology hospital or skincare shop for skincare, both men and women.
>> Many people patronize dermatology clinics or skincare shops for both men and women.
>> Many people frequent dermatology clinics or skincare shops for both men and women. 
I heard that eating and putting on sunscreen to protect our skin are very important, but the power of medical technology is better than those things.
>> I heard that eating healthy food and applying sunscreen to protect our skin are very important, but the power of medical technology overwhelms those things. 
I also have experience before my wedding.
>> I also experienced this phenomenon before my wedding. 
I regularly attended a skincare shop for two months.
>> I regularly visited a skincare shop for two months. 
At that time, I surprised by my skin changing.
>> At that time, I was surprised with the change in my skin.
I just lived the same way with my routines such as drinking, eating, self-skincare.
>>Originally, I just followed my usual routine: drinking, eating and having my own skincare regimen. 
Only I went to a skincare shop ones per week, my skin is completely changed.
>> I only visited a skincare shop once a week, but my skin completely changed. 
I thought that what a fantastic modern technology.
>> I was amazed at the technology used for my skin. 
My mom injected Botox two times before and after my wedding.
>> correct
I know that it helps prevent wrinkles from forming on the face, but excessive Botox is very dangerous.
>> correct
So, doctors say \"don\'t overdo the Botox\".
>> correct
However, I think that getting help from the medical technology within a safe guideline and limit improve the self-confidence.
>> However, I think that getting help from the medical technology applied within the safe guidelines and boundaries can improve a person\'s self-confidence.

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