2019.01.28

2019-01-30 · 첨삭 강사 Gina

학생이 쓴 원문

As you said, there are so many problems to meet people with chat or internet. It is too shameful that I\'m Korean too but if I enter to chatting site with younger age such as elementary schooler or adolescent in Korea, a number of adult men will try to me with terrible plans. However, year by year, more children and adolescents join in the internet and chatting application with their ID or even using their parents\'s name without any supervision and regulation. That is a huge problem since violent contents and dangerous people like I wrote, not them. But we can\'t force them to don\'t use chatting app so the best way we can use is the education. Teaching them about danger and how to use the internet by right way. Also we should tighten the punishment to criminal and violent programs. In another way, we can think about the clean chat site for just adolescent.

강사 첨삭

Hi, Su [이름]!


Thank you for this. I totally agree that we should teach the younger people on how they should use the internet properly, which includes using a chat site. We should also educate them about the dangers that they might face so that they will be aware.


~Teacher Gina


As you said, there are so many problems to meet people with chat or internet. It is too shameful that I\'m Korean too but if I enter to chatting site with younger age such as elementary schooler or adolescent in Korea, a number of adult men will try to me with terrible plans. However, year by year, more children and adolescents join in the internet and chatting application with their ID or even using their parents\'s name without any supervision and regulation. That is a huge problem since violent contents and dangerous people like I wrote, not them. But we can\'t force them to don\'t use chatting app so the best way we can use is the education. Teaching them about danger and how to use the internet by right way. Also we should tighten the punishment to criminal and violent programs. In another way, we can think about the clean chat site for just adolescent.


>> As you said, there are so many problems in meeting people through chat or internet. It is too shameful that I\'m Korean too but if I enter to a chatting site with younger people such as elementary students or adolescents in Korea, a number of adult men would try to victimize me with their terrible plans. However, year by year, more children and adolescents join in the internet and chatting application with their ID or even using their parents\' name without any supervision and regulation. That is a huge problem since there might be violent contents in  it and dangerous people as I have mentioned. But we can\'t force them to stop using a chatting app so the best way to solve this is through education. Teaching them about the dangers and how to use the internet the right way would help. We should also tighten the punishment to criminal and violent programs. WE should think about having a clean chat site just for the adolescent.

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