2020.03.06 Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
Nowadays, I am inspired by an announcer who manages her youtube channel. Before I saw her on youtube, I didn’t know her even. But after I watched her ‘Vlog’ which shows her daily life, I am encouraged by her and I thought I want to live like her. She wakes up at 6:30 a.m. and enjoys her morning. She also studies Chinese to grab other chances. She tries to be healthy by Pilates and jogging. She reads more than a book every week. She works diligently. She is kind to her friends and parents. In conclusion, I think she enjoys her life and tries to learn and understand something constantly. That figure motivates me. So, I started ‘Power English’ to share my thought with more people by using English. Also, I started pilates to improve the quality of life and have tried to read a book every week to widen knowledge. I become more diligent, passionate and start to think that I am the owner of my life. I am very thankful for her and I realize the real meaning of ‘good influence’ of celebrity.
강사 첨삭
Hi Drexel! Thanks for the time you invested with your homework and the thoughts you have shared here. I really appreciate your consistency with practicing the language . ^ ^
I have told you about making your sentences concise which you have been diligently doing. But I would also like to emphasize on making your sentences rhetoric so it could draw more attention to the reader. ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah
>>Nowadays, I am inspired by this lady/woman who has her own You Tube channel.
>>Nowadays, I am so much inspired by a You Tuber.
Before I saw her on youtube, I didn’t know her even.
>>I was not familiar neither do I even know her before I started watching her videos.
But after I watched her ‘Vlog’ which shows her daily life, I am encouraged by her and I thought I want to live like her.
>>CORRECT
She wakes up at 6:30 a.m. and enjoys her morning.
>>CORRECT
She also studies Chinese to grab other chances.
>>CORRECT
She tries to be healthy by Pilates and jogging.
>>CORRECT
She reads more than a book every week.
>>She reads more than one book a week.
She works diligently.
>>CORRECT
She is kind to her friends and parents.
>>CORRECT
In conclusion, I think she enjoys her life and tries to learn and understand something constantly.
>>CORRECT
That figure motivates me.
>>Her being, lifestyle and the way she perceives life really motivates me.
So, I started ‘Power English’ to share my thought with more people by using English.
>>So, I started ‘Power English’ to share my thoughts with more people by using the English language.
Also, I started pilates to improve the quality of life and have tried to read a book every week to widen knowledge.
>>Also, I started doing Pilates to improve the quality of my life and have tried to read a book every week to widen my knowledge.
I become more diligent, passionate and start to think that I am the owner of my life.
>>I have become more diligent, passionate and have come to realize that I own my life.
I am very thankful for her and I realize the real meaning of ‘good influence’ of celebrity.
>>CORRECT
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