2023.7.20 homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I think the biggest issue in Korea is low birth rate.
Now the birth rate is 0.8 per family. So army and many small companys are suffering from manpower shortage. To resolve that problem, the government should expand benefits about childbirth. Another solution is improving about view of marrige.
Some young generation have negative viewpoint about marrige. Because marrige is difficult task in terms of cost and sacrifice. So many young generation like me think that marrige is just choice, not a duty.
강사 첨삭
Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille
I think the biggest issue in Korea is low birth rate.
>> CORRECT!
Now the birth rate is 0.8 per family.
>> CORRECT!Now the birth rate is 0.8 per family.
So army and many small companys are suffering from manpower shortage.
>> So army and many small companies are suffering from manpower shortage.
OR >> So army and many small companies suffer from manpower shortage.
To resolve that problem, the government should expand benefits about childbirth.
>> CORRECT!Another solution is improving about view of marrige.
>> Another solution is improving the view about marriage.
Some young generation have negative viewpoint about marrige.
>> Some young generation have negative viewpoint about marriage.
Because marrige is difficult task in terms of cost and sacrifice.
>> It is because marriage is a difficult task in terms of cost and sacrifice.
OR >> It is because marriage is a difficult task in terms of finance and efforts.
So many young generation like me think that marrige is just choice, not a duty.
>> So many young generation like me think that marriage is just choice, not a duty.
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