3/11 homework
학생이 쓴 원문
If I have a chance to drink with Bill Gates, I want to learn his big eyes to understand this world.
I believe he was a genius but he has a warmhearted person.
I think he used very well his intelligence and he spent his money and time to understand and know new things that he never experienced.
He traveled to many countries such as India, Africa, and so on.
He realized new things that there are many important things except for money.
He established a charitable foundation and is working there after retirement.
In my generation, if you ask who is the biggest rich or genius to us, many people will say Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.
However, unfortunately, I think the quality of life of Bill and Steve would be very different.
As we can easily find many videos, Steve regretted many things for his life.
He said that he realized that the most important thing is invisible things like family, love, or relationships, not money and intelligence.
I also want to expand the bowl of my heart bigger.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름],
Thanks for the response to the homework! It\'s an interesting response. ^ ^
-Rachel
If I have a chance to drink with Bill Gates, I want to learn his big eyes to understand this world.
>> correct
>> If I have a chance to drink with Bill Gates, I want to learn his vision in understanding this world.
I believe he was a genius but he has a warmhearted person.
I believe he was a genius but he has a warmhearted person.
>> I believe he is a genius but a warmhearted person.
I think he used very well his intelligence and he spent his money and time to understand and know new things that he never experienced.
I think he used very well his intelligence and he spent his money and time to understand and know new things that he never experienced.
>> I think he used his intelligence well and spent his money and time to understand and know new things that he never experienced.
He traveled to many countries such as India, Africa, and so on.
He traveled to many countries such as India, Africa, and so on.
>> correct
He realized new things that there are many important things except for money.
He realized new things that there are many important things except for money.
>> He realized that there are more important things than money.
He established a charitable foundation and is working there after retirement.
He established a charitable foundation and is working there after retirement.
>> correct
In my generation, if you ask who is the biggest rich or genius to us, many people will say Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.
In my generation, if you ask who is the biggest rich or genius to us, many people will say Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.
>> In my generation, if you ask who is the richest or the most genius, many people will say Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.
However, unfortunately, I think the quality of life of Bill and Steve would be very different.
However, unfortunately, I think the quality of life of Bill and Steve would be very different.
>> However, unfortunately, I think the quality of life of Bill and Steve is very different.
As we can easily find many videos, Steve regretted many things for his life.
As we can easily find many videos, Steve regretted many things for his life.
>> correct (awesome sentence)
He said that he realized that the most important thing is invisible things like family, love, or relationships, not money and intelligence.
He said that he realized that the most important thing is invisible things like family, love, or relationships, not money and intelligence.
>> He said that the most important things are intangible ones such as family, love, relationships and not money or intelligence.
I also want to expand the bowl of my heart bigger.
I also want to expand the bowl of my heart bigger.
>> correct
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.