3/15 homework
학생이 쓴 원문
Technology is developing nowadays. Our life has become easier and give a lot of benefits because of it. But there are some worries that human will be prevailed by robots. It has been very controversial.
I think robots will cause unemployment.
It is because first, it can help the process far fast and accurate. Human can spoil the work, or be sick and old. Human resouces are limited. It is not help for employer to hire a human instead of robots.
Second, Korea society has become older. As a result, business men\'s retire season is being delayed. So there is no extra positions for people to go in. When the robots appear in this unfortunate situation, many employees will be lost their job.
Some other say that there will be new jobs relating to machine, robots or energy, considering developed technology. But those new jobs probably suit for people with degree or high knowledge. And most of un-employees must be in the service work, which will be vanish first when technical developed.
강사 첨삭
Hello Emily!
When I think about that kind of future, it really scares me too. Anyways, great job in improving your usage of punctuation marks! There are a lot less spelling mistakes too. The writing was well thought of and very insightful. See you in our next class and I applaud you for a job well done!
~~Teacher Kate
>>CORRECT!
Our life has become easier and give a lot of benefits because of it.
>>Our life has become easier and we gain a lot of benefits from it.
But there are some worries that human will be prevailed by robots
>>But there are some worries that humans will be dominated by robots.
It has been very controversial.
>>CORRECT!
I think robots will cause unemployment.
I think robots will cause unemployment.
>>CORRECT!
It is because first, it can help the process far fast and accurate.
It is because first, it can help the process far fast and accurate.
>>It is because first, it can help the process far more quickly and accurately.
Human can spoil the work, or be sick and old. Human resouces are limited.
>>Human can mess up at work, or be sick and old. Human resources are limited.
It is not help for employer to hire a human instead of robots.
>>It is not helpful for employers to hire a human instead of robots.
Second, Korea society has become older.
Second, Korea society has become older.
>>CORRECT!
As a result, business men\'s retire season is being delayed.
>>As a result, employees\' retirement is being delayed.
So there is no extra positions for people to go in.
>>So there are no extra positions for people to fill.
When the robots appear in this unfortunate situation, many employees will be lost their job.
>>When the robots appear in this unfortunate situation, many employees will lose their jobs.
Some other say that there will be new jobs relating to machine, robots or energy, considering developed technology.
Some other say that there will be new jobs relating to machine, robots or energy, considering developed technology.
>>Some other say that there will be new jobs relates to machines, robots or energy, considering the developed technology.
But those new jobs probably suit for people with degree or high knowledge.
>>But those new jobs would probably only suit people with a degree and a lot of knowledge.
And most of un-employees must be in the service work, which will be vanish first when technical developed.
>>And most of the unemployed would work in the service industry, which will vanish first when technology further develops.
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