3/15 homework

2020-03-12 · 첨삭 강사 Rachel

학생이 쓴 원문

It depends on how I got the money. If I get a huge amount of money over a billion won from the lottery, I would donate 10%. But, I am very worried about where to donate. Except for paying hospital expenses for poor people, I think it\'s not good to give big money directly to people who can not manage money. I think it would be better to give the organization money and let them use it for those people. However, at that time, it is very important to monitor how the money is spent. I know that many organizations use wrongfully donations. So, I think we should sublate an anonymous donation and inform openly others, and organizations should pay attention to the eyes of many people. If I earn a lot of money from work, not luck, I want to give back to society in a different way, not by donation. I want to establish a scholarship or research foundations and I want to help people who can not study due to the money. I think it is also a kind of donation.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름], 
As usual, great response to the homework question! I especially like the last part because it shows the real you:)
-Rachel
It depends on how I got the money.
>> correct
If I get a huge amount of money over a billion won from the lottery, I would donate 10%.
>> If I won a huge amount such as over a billion won from the lottery, then I would donate 10% of it. 
But, I am very worried about where to donate.
>> correct
Except for paying hospital expenses for poor people, I think it\'s not good to give big money directly to people who can not manage money.
>> correct (awesome sentence)
I think it would be better to give the organization money and let them use it for those people. However, at that time, it is very important to monitor how the money is spent.
>> correct (perfect sentences)
I know that many organizations use wrongfully donations.
>> correct
>> I know that many organizations wrongfully use donations .
So, I think we should sublate an anonymous donation and inform openly others, and organizations should pay attention to the eyes of many people.
>> So I think we should donate anonymously but openly inform others so organizations will pay attention to the knowing eyes of many people. 
If I earn a lot of money from work, not luck, I want to give back to society in a different way, not by donation.
>> correct (awesome sentence
I want to establish a scholarship or research foundations and I want to help people who can not study due to lack of  money. 
>> correct ( we just add the word lack before money)
I think it is also a kind of donation.
>> correct

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