3/27 homework
학생이 쓴 원문
There are many social problems even in a young society such as violence or bully.
Some of them want to hide the fact that they are being bullied or have some problems because it is embarrassing.
When they feel like they are standing on the edge of a cliff and notice the bad situation will not finish before death, they decide to suicide.
And finding a solution is more difficult for young people because they are not independent.
So, they need a hand from adults.
I think the most important thing is the observation for young people.
We need a purpose or dream for the end of life.
Especially, young people need a dream about what they want to be or what they want to do.
It is very important to encourage that I want to survive and overcome this situation to be my dream, not to endure.
And they need a place to believe that they can find mental stability and help them.
It must be adults, not only friends.
And the best person to do it should be parents.
I will say \'dream a dream for the future\'.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
What can I say, you do your work well and quickly! Keep it up!
-Rachel
There are many social problems even in a young society such as violence or bullying.
>> correct (we say bully instead of bullying when we talk about the act)
Some of them want to hide the fact that they are being bullied or have some problems because it is embarrassing.
>> correct (perfect sentence!)
When they feel like they are standing on the edge of a cliff and notice the bad situation will not finish before death, they decide to suicide.
When they feel like they are standing on the edge of a cliff and notice the bad situation will not finish before death, they decide to suicide.
>> When they feel like they are standing on the edge of a cliff and know that the bad situation will not finish before death, they decide to commit suicide.
And finding a solution is more difficult for young people because they are not independent. So, they need a hand from adults.
And finding a solution is more difficult for young people because they are not independent. So, they need a hand from adults.
>> correct
I think the most important thing is the observation for young people.
I think the most important thing is the observation for young people.
>> correct
We need a purpose or dream for the end of life.
We need a purpose or dream for the end of life.
>> We need a purpose or a dream to live our lives.
Especially, young people need a dream about what they want to be or what they want to do.
Especially, young people need a dream about what they want to be or what they want to do.
>> correct
It is very important to encourage that I want to survive and overcome this situation to be my dream, not to endure.
It is very important to encourage that I want to survive and overcome this situation to be my dream, not to endure.
>> It is very important to encourage them to dream and to want to survive and overcome their difficult situation and not just endure.
And they need a place to believe that they can find mental stability and help them. It must be adults, not only friends.
And they need a place to believe that they can find mental stability and help them. It must be adults, not only friends.
>> correct
And the best person to do it should be parents. I will say \'dream a dream for the future\'.
And the best person to do it should be parents. I will say \'dream a dream for the future\'.
>> correct
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