3-29th Homework

2017-01-10 · 첨삭 강사 Charry

학생이 쓴 원문

All creatures want to get things done in a way that they want to do it for themselves. Even if they have no power to do it, they do it for themselves. In this processing, if one only wants to do it, one could not do it as much as one wants. It's because there are too many obstacles conflicting with other's hopes. So, human being makes a group that has a common concern each other in order to achieve their goals or one's hope. And animals make a group in order to survive in the jungle as hunting together. Sometimes, the group is very useful thing to protect a power of individual. The members in the group help individual keep one's right. Sometimes, the group acts as a toxic thing to individual. The members in the group would want to give up one's right in order to protect from outside attacks. For example, the moral judgement is very typical. The individual wants to make a decision based on one's consciousness but the group doesn't want to do it. Anyway, human is a social animal.

강사 첨삭

Hello there [이름]! ^_^

Thank you very much for sharing your opinions about this matter.

I think they\'re really good.

There are a advantages and disadvantages of being in a group.

People often say: \"two heads are better than one\".

But in my opinion, that is not always the case.

While it is true that there is strength in numbers, I still believe that improving as an individual is a must especially when it comes to moral judgments.

A group is supposed to improve your potential as a person and should not hinder you from growing.

Anyhow, that is my opinion in this matter.

I hope you\'re having a great day.

See you again on Thursday. ^_^

Take care.

~Teacher C[이름]

All creatures want to get things done in a way that they want to do it for themselves.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> All creatures want to do things the way they want it. 
Even if they have no power to do it, they do it for themselves.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> Even if they are not capable of doing it, they still do it.
In this processing, if one only wants to do it, one could not do it as much as one wants.

>> In this process, if only one wants to do it, one could not do it as much as one wants.
It\'s because there are too many obstacles conflicting with other\'s hopes.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> It\'s because there are too many obstacles that get into conflict with other\'s hopes.
So, human being makes a group that has a common concern each other in order to achieve their goals or one\'s hope.

>> So, human beings make a group that has a common concern with each other in order to achieve their goals or hopes.
And animals make a group in order to survive in the jungle as hunting together.

>> And animals make a group in order to survive in the jungle like hunting together.
Sometimes, the group is very useful thing to protect a power of individual.

>> Sometimes, the group is a very useful thing in protecting the power of an individual.
The members in the group help individual keep one\'s right.

>> The members in the group help an individual keep one\'s right.
Sometimes, the group acts as a toxic thing to individual.

>> Sometimes, the group acts as a toxic thing to an/the individual.
The members in the group would want to give up one\'s right in order to protect from outside attacks.

>> The members in the group would want to give up one\'s right in order to protect the group from attacks outside.
For example, the moral judgment is very typical.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> A very typical example would be moral judgment. .
The individual wants to make a decision based on one\'s consciousness but the group doesn\'t want to do it.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> The individual wants to make a decision based on one\'s consciousness but the group refuses to do it.
Anyway, human is a social animal.

>> Anyway, a human is a social animal.

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