3-51th Homework

Hello, [이름]! ^_^

Thank you once again for writing in our composition board.

I honestly think a paternal leave for fathers who are working in companies should be mandated.

It\'s because during pregnancy, it\'s not only the mother who is under stress but the father as well.

Allowing the employee to go on a paternal leave will not only help him become a better father but a more efficient employee as well.

Companies should take into consideration the well-being of their employees because their employees are the source of their work force.

Without them, the company will  not operate or run.

I hope you\'re having a great day.

See you again on Thursday. ^_^

~Teacher C[이름]

I think it is an essential policy nowadays, it\'s because we have a problem of low birth rate.

>> I think it is an essential policy nowadays. It\'s because we have a problem on low birth rate.

OR >> I think it is an essential policy nowadays because we have a problem on low birth rate.
The company consists of a number of members that have to do their task with their own responsibility.

>> [Do you mean]: The company consists of a number of members with a responsibility of doing their own tasks.
The royalty of the members is needed to provide for proper profits.

>> [Do you mean]: The loyalty of the members is needed to provide proper profits.
Even if the company give the money for member\'s working, it is not all to maintain their\'s royalty.

>> Even if the company gives money for its working employees/members, it is not all that is needed to maintain their loyalty.
Nowadays, many company has changed their policy to improve the member\'s efficiency.

>> Nowadays, many companies have changed their policy to improve the member\'s/employee\'s efficiency.
Many years ago, the owner of company thought that the highest salary was all for members.

>> Many years ago, the owner of company thought that the highest salary was for all members/employees.
But the thought has changed recently to encourage the mind of members.

>> But the thought has changed recently to encourage the mind of the members/employees.
If the company don\'t do that, the good man will go out the company without any regret.

>> If the company doesn\'t do that, the good man will go out of the company without any regret.
When the members are working in the office, they want to focus on their task.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> When the employees work in the office, they want to focus on their task.
But many other things like a problem of home hinder their task, finally the efficiency of company will decrease.

>> But many other things like a problem at home can hinder their task and finally, the efficiency of the company will decrease.
To improve the efficiency is good to members and also to company.

>> To improve the efficiency is good to the members/employees and also to the company.
So, the owner\'s mind has changed.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> That\'s why the owner\'s way of thinking has changed.