3/6 homework

2020-03-06 · 첨삭 강사 Rachel

학생이 쓴 원문

I don\'t smoke, and I hate the smell of cigarettes. However, I disagree ban on smoking in all countries. I agree that smoking is a kind of food. Governments should recommend people should reduce cigarette consumption, but the ban is too inordinate policy. In Korea, governments formed the law which people can smoke at an only given place. People can not smoke inside any buildings. There are several container boxes outside all buildings. And these policies and campaigns are reducing the number of smokers. In addition, campaigns change people\'s mind and I think it is very effective. People think smoking is very bad for human health, so they don\'t like cigarette smoke. So, smokers naturally reduce cigarette for smooth social activities. Someone says that alcohol makes people violent, so often fight is caused by alcohol, but smoking doesn\'t change people\'s personality. One time, I convinced perfectly. The best way is to make people change themselves, not to force.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름], 
Thanks as always for the insightful responses to all homework I give you. Enjoy your weekend, and have a good rest!
-Rachel
I don\'t smoke, and I hate the smell of cigarettes.
>> correct
However, I disagree ban on smoking in all countries.
>> However, I disagree with the ban on smoking in all countries.
>> However, I disagree with the idea of banning smoking in all countries.
I agree that smoking is a kind of food.
>> correct
Governments should recommend people should reduce cigarette consumption, but the ban is too inordinate policy.
>> Governments should recommend people to reduce cigarette consumption, but the ban policy is too inordinate.
>> Governments should recommend people to cut back on cigarette consumption, but banning it is too inordinate.
In Korea, governments formed the law which people can smoke at an only given place.
>> In Korea, governments created a law which allows people to smoke at a specific place. 
People can not smoke inside any buildings. 
There are several container boxes outside all buildings.
>> correct
And these policies and campaigns are reducing the number of smokers.
>> correct (awesome)
In addition, campaigns change people\'s mind and I think it is very effective.
>> correct (perfect)
People think smoking is very bad for human health, so they don\'t like cigarette smoke.So, smokers naturally reduce cigarette for smooth social activities.
>> correct (great!)
Someone says that alcohol makes people violent, so often fights are caused by alcohol, but smoking doesn\'t change people\'s personality.
>> correct
One time, I convinced perfectly. 
>> For once, I am perfectly convinced. 
The best way is to make people change themselves, not to force.
>> correct

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·