3

2017-08-30 · 첨삭 강사 Rain

학생이 쓴 원문

Many young people want to wokr in big companies and have their job. But there are not many big companies in rural areas. So they want to move the cities increasing because they believe they can have a great job in cities but it is not easy. I think many developing countries have to develop the rural areas first. Because young people can stay and develop their area. I think the rural aras are inportant more than the city.

강사 첨삭

 Hello Ms. [이름]!

I think you are correct! Many people are moving into the city, because they think that life is far more better there. Yes it\'s better, but not in all cases.

Thank you for your opinion about this topic. ^^ Call you tomorrow!

~ Teacher Rain~

Many young people want to wokr in big companies and have their job.

>> Many young people want to work in big companies.
 But there are not many big companies in rural areas.

>> But there are only few companies in rural areas.
 So they want to move the cities increasing because they believe they can have a great job in cities but it is not easy.

>> So they want to move into the city, because they think that there are lot of opportunities there.
 I think many developing countries have to develop the rural areas first.

>> I think developing countries should develop their rural areas first.
 Because young people can stay and develop their area.

>> DID YOU MEAN: Because young people can just stay in these rural areas.
 I think the rural aras are inportant more than the city.

>> I think rural areas are more important than cities.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·