39. Homework

2018-01-04 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

I have two kinds of ideas solving this. First, they can move to a gorgeous house called Tower Palace in Korea. When someone wants to enter the gate, security guards will make the people stop to check their identity or who wants to meet that visitor. And they have to give their item among their own to the guard giving a card. When they enter the elevator, they have to use the card since it doesn’t work if they don’t have the card. They have many kind of securities I couldn’t be known. But if they have amount money, they should live there since the apartment has perfect security for a living so they don’t need to worry about thieves anymore. Second, they have to spend money until they don’t need to worry about their house while they are at outside. What if thief enters their room, there is not anything to steal in the house. But they might be afraid how to live without money. If they contribute their property to the facilities kind of orphanage or a silver town, which old people live, their mind would be fully rich instead of worrying about previous worries.

강사 첨삭

Oh this is a sensible idea ^^

However, we are fully aware that some people worry about their bank accounts depleting!

Ha! Ha! We earn so much to pay for a very expensive security system! How ironic!

Thanks for this, Jason! See you!

I have two kinds of ideas solving this.
>> I have two kinds of ideas to solve this.
First, they can move to a gorgeous house called Tower Palace in Korea.

>>CORRECT!

When someone wants to enter the gate, security guards will make the people stop to check their identity or who wants to meet that visitor.

>>CORRECT!

And they have to give their item among their own to the guard giving a card.

>>And they have to give their possessions to the guard giving a card.

When they enter the elevator, they have to use the card since it doesn’t work if they don’t have the card.

>>CORRECT!

They have many kind of securities I couldn’t be known.

>>There are many kinds of security measures I have not known.

But if they have amount money, they should live there since the apartment has perfect security for a living so they don’t need to worry about thieves anymore.
>> But if they have a considerable amount of money, they should live there since the apartment has a perfect security system for living so they don’t need to worry about thieves anymore.
Second, they have to spend money until they don’t need to worry about their house while they are at outside.

>>CORRECT!

What if thief enters their room, there is not anything to steal in the house. But they might be afraid how to live without money.

>>If a thief enters their room, there is not anything to steal in the house, but they might be afraid of living without money.

If they contribute their property to the facilities kind of orphanage or a silver town, which old people live, their mind would be fully rich instead of worrying about previous worries.

>>If they contribute their property to the facilities like orphanage or a silver town, which old people live, their mind would be fully rich instead of worrying about previous worries.

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