3HOMEWORK

2020-06-03 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

What is something you can not live without? In my case, I can not live without water. First of all, I usually drink a lot. And I can take a shower because of water. So, water is essential to me absolutely. And I like swimming as well. In addition, my family also think water is important. So, we always drink a cup of water from mountains that I mean mineral spring. All most Korean use water filter machine but there is no mineral according to the study. So, we got the water from mountains to take some minerals. I’d like to say I am a truly cosmopolitan person. Because I can adapt easily wherever I go and whoever I meet in the world. I went to America and Australia to jump in multicultural environments. I like meeting new people, and I enjoy going to new places. So that I believe I was able to grow up by working hard and being placed in a new environment.

강사 첨삭

Hi Donna! Thank you for spending a little of your time with your homework. I really appreciate it! ^ ^

Thanks for sharing your thoughts as well. ^ ^ Keep it up!

-Teacher Jedah

In my case, I can not live without water.

>>CORRECT

First of all, I usually drink a lot.

>>CORRECT

And I can take a shower because of water.

>>CORRECT

So, water is essential to me absolutely.

>>So water is absolutely essential to me.

And I like swimming as well.

>>CORRECT

In addition, my family also think water is important.

>>In addition, my family also thinks that water is important.

So, we always drink a cup of water from mountains that I mean mineral spring.

>>So, we always love drinking a glass of mineral or spring water.

All most Korean use water filter machine but there is no mineral according to the study.

>>Most of Koreans use or drink filtered water but according to studies, there is no longer any mineral content.

So, we got the water from mountains to take some minerals.
>>So, we prefer drinking water that is coming from the mountains because it contains minerals which is definitely good for the body.
I’d like to say I am a truly cosmopolitan person.

>>CORRECT

Because I can adapt easily wherever I go and whoever I meet in the world.

>>CORRECT

I went to America and Australia to jump in multicultural environments.

>>CORRECT or

>>I have jumped from one multicultural environment

I like meeting new people, and I enjoy going to new places.

>>CORRECT

So that I believe I was able to grow up by working hard and being placed in a new environment.

>>CORRECT

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