4-27th Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
The body's condition is an important element we hope to live with happiness.
We wake up to work and we prepare some to do something every morning,
In my case, my condition had been not good for about 3 years.
So, when I woke up in the morning, I always worried about working in a day.
And I could not have a happy mind and I couldn't do the requests from colleague without reluctance.
In the house, I didn't care of my kids with happiness.
Whenever I did something even though it was my concern, I first worried and was exhausted.
So, when I communicated with my kids, I always raised my sound abruptly.
Nowadays, I have cured my pain through exercises.
If I say the degree of the pain using the numbers from 0 to 10, 10 is more painful, now is 0 or 1.
When I was painful, the figure would be 8.
So, I tried to remove the pain of my body and I tried to find the reason.
A while ago, I found the main reason of my body pain.
It was my footfall.
Wrong footfall caused the pain by using wrongly muscle.
강사 첨삭
Hello, [이름]! ^^
This is your fourth essay and I am really amazed with how diligent you are. ^^
You\'re doing a great job. Keep writing! :)
I think when a person is in pain, he or she easily becomes irritated and depressed.
I think when a person is in pain, he or she easily becomes irritated and depressed.
I know how it\'s like and I\'m glad that you\'re not in pain anymore.
Having a healthy and painless body lead to a happier and more harmonious life.
I hope you continue being healthy and you continue taking good care of your body.
Stay happy and safe.
See you next week. :)
~Teacher C[이름]
The body\'s condition is an important element we hope to live with happiness.>> [Do you mean]: A good body condition is an important element that we all hope to have if we want to live with happiness.
We wake up to work and we prepare some to do something every morning,
We wake up to work and we prepare some to do something every morning,
>> We wake up in the morning to work and we also prepare something to do every morning,
In my case, my condition had been not good for about 3 years.
In my case, my condition had been not good for about 3 years.
>> In my case, my condition hasn\'t been good for about 3 years.
So, when I woke up in the morning, I always worried about working in a day.
>> So, when I wake up in the morning, I always worried about working for the day.
And I could not have a happy mind and I couldn\'t do the requests from colleague without reluctance.
And I could not have a happy mind and I couldn\'t do the requests from colleague without reluctance.
>> I also could not have a happy mind and I couldn\'t do the requests from my colleague without reluctance.
In the house, I didn\'t care of my kids with happiness.
In the house, I didn\'t care of my kids with happiness.
>> In the house, I am not happy when I care for my kids.
Whenever I did something even though it was my concern, I first worried and was exhausted.
>> [Do you mean]: Whenever I am concerned and I try to do something, I get worried first and feel exhausted after.
So, when I communicated with my kids, I always raised my sound abruptly.
So, when I communicated with my kids, I always raised my sound abruptly.
>> So, when I communicate with my kids, I always sharply raise my voice.
Nowadays, I have cured my pain through exercises.
Nowadays, I have cured my pain through exercises.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I was able to cure my pain through exercises.
If I say the degree of the pain using the numbers from 0 to 10, 10 is more painful, now is 0 or 1.
If I say the degree of the pain using the numbers from 0 to 10, 10 is more painful, now is 0 or 1.
>> If I rate the degree of the pain using the numbers from 0 to 10, 10 being the most painful, I would now rate it at 0 or 1.
When I was painful, the figure would be 8.
When I was painful, the figure would be 8.
>> When I am in pain, the figure would be 8.
So, I tried to remove the pain of my body and I tried to find the reason.
So, I tried to remove the pain of my body and I tried to find the reason.
>> So, I tried to remove the pain in my body and I tried to find the reason.
A while ago, I found the main reason of my body pain.
A while ago, I found the main reason of my body pain.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I found the main reason of my body pain a while ago.
It was my footfall.
It was my footfall.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It was because of my footfall.
Wrong footfall caused the pain by using wrongly muscle.
Wrong footfall caused the pain by using wrongly muscle.
>> Wrong footfall caused the pain because I used the wrong muscle.
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